welcome to my life

Because I'm trying not to make this blog so dead

2012-01-10T08:38:00.000+08:00

OKAY I know I haven't been the most active blogger around recently. I am still stuck halfway with my Europe trip and frankly speaking, I don't have much motivation to continue with that. Plus, I don't think I can remember much of it anymore, pity. Pictures shall do the talking, once I have the time and my crappy Internet connection works for once.

So anyway, I have been busy but having fun!:)

To all those snooty cows who think I'm enjoying life, sod off. You know nuts about me. I am working hard for a living and guess what? I love my job. Newsflash! People can be happy at their jobs too.

I didn't exactly announce it on Facebook but I am currently a full-time teacher until my enrolment into NIE! And I love it. Did I mention that I'm currently teaching P1 and P2 kids? They are adorable! Every day there will be new stories to laugh about with my friends. There's just something about being around them that makes me happy.

I know the Ministry takes into account any stories posted about students/ the school very seriously. To protect the underaged etc. So for my own protection, I shall not divulge which school I'm teaching in/ the names of the students mentioned in my posts.

There were lots and lots of really cute stories from last year which I didn't manage to post up about. So starting this year, I shall try to include as many memorable stories as I can:)

The first real cute incident happened with this really really cute P1 kid. I was shadowing a more experienced teacher in class at that time. The teacher told this boy to pull in his chair and sit up straight. I was sitting at the back at that time and I nearly laughed out loud when I saw what this little boy did.

He got out of his chair and pushed his chair all the way in. Obviously, it's gonna cause a problem if he wants to sit in it. No problem. This little boy was unfazed and stuck one of his chubby legs into the narrow space and just sort of scrambled into the chair. It was so funny to see him! And he looked so satisfied by the time he got in and went on with his homework LOL.

Another thing I noticed about little kids is how much they love to hold hands. Not with their classmates though. On several occasions, I got the naughty/ talkative ones to go to the front of the line with me so that I can keep an eye on them. Once they got to the front of the lines, they automatically held out their hand to hold mine. It was so cute! Like it's something they were so used to doing with their parents, they didn't even think about it. As long as an adult is around, their hand will be held, those sort of things. It really is sort of heartwarming, to think about the love and protection that probably surrounds them at home.

Anyway, abrupt end of post, since I gotta start preparing for school. Every day's a new adventure with these kids:)

Day 6 in Europe - Paris

2011-10-15T13:25:00.000+08:00

Ok I have been procrastinating horribly for my Europe trip. Lots of exciting things have happened recently and I wanna blog about it so I'm just going to finish up with this quickly.

So this is it - Day 6, still in Paris:)

The bustling morning activities going on outside our hotel room:

And holy smokes, just look at the way they park their cars! You don't see that here, not unless you want to get slapped with a $500 (I think) parking fine.

The French people on their way to work:

Went shopping for breakfast which is (surprise, surprise) baguettes. Pretty much what we ate throughout our entire time in Paris but oh well. At least nobody can say we didn't eat like the French there haha! And I saw this shampoo in the aisle in the supermarket:

If Johnson's Baby Shampoo can make you smell as good and clean as a baby, imagine what this shampoo can make you smell like.

I'm sorry, that was terribly childish. Moving on!

HAHAHAHAHHAH

Ah-hem

We took a train to Versailles.

Took a couple of hours I think, since Versailles is located somewhere in the suburb of Paris.

Aaaand lo and behold, the Palace of Versailles!

The Palace of Versailles, or Château de Versailles in French, is one of the most famous world heritage monument sites and a symbol of the French monarchy in the 17th century. It was where the royal family had lived and ruled for centuries until the French Revolution in 1789. The public had grown increasingly unhappy with their hard life and the royal family's extravagant spending and living. On 6 October 1789, they stormed the Palace, forcing King Louis XVI and his wife, Queen Marie-Antoinette to flee. The monarchy was abolished within 3 years and King Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette were executed in the following year, in 1793.

Depictions of Apollo, the Sun God, can be found all over the estate.

The King's bedroom:

Gifts from rulers of other countries? I'm not too sure.

The Queen's bedroom

When riots broke out outside the Palace on 6 October 1789, Marie-Antoinette escaped through this door to take refuge in the King's apartment:

The antechamber of the Grand Couvert, where the King and Queen will dine in front of the court on Sundays. Marie-Antoinette had also been known to hold concerts and balls here.

The next room houses some jaw-dropping pieces of art, depicting scenes from French history:

The Consecration of the Emperor Napoleon. This is only a full-sized replica, commissioned by the same artist - the original piece of work is housed in the Louvre.

Thrones of past Kings:

Emperor Napoleon's throne.... I think

The Courtyard of Versailles

The gardens of Versailles are so stunning and gorgeous, they took my breath away. I shall let the pictures do the talking.

Beautiful flowers gave the garden a charm of its own

We walked down to the HUGE er...man-made lake in the middle of the gardens, where we saw a couple taking wedding photographs.

Sighhhh....it looked so wonderfully sweet. Plus everything was so serene and beautiful, with the setting sun in the background. Nobody could have possibly wished for a more romantic setting.

Basically we set down near the waters and chilled for a few hours, talking and eating while watching the sun set slowly. We would have stayed longer but the palace keepers went around in these little cars and told all visitors to leave the palace grounds since it's nearing closing time.

So this is it - our last few views of Château de Versailles.

We stood at the top and looked out at this for at least 10 minutes, trying to commit everything to memory. I remember a gentle breeze blowing by. Everything was so quiet, except for a few birds calling out to each other. It was a truly beautiful and poetic scene.

Yes, everything's still bright at 9pm

Day 5 - Paris!:D

2011-07-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 4plus to catch the 5.30am Eurostar train from King's Cross Station to Gare du Nord station in Paris.

It was raining when we arrived so the weather was wonderfully chilly. Headed to our hotel to deposit our stuff first.

Snapshots of Paris on our way to the Louvre!

Saw the cosiest little cheese shop

Bakeries with the most aesthetically-pleasing, sweetest little pastries dot the streets

My first meal in Paris and the first time I ever spoke in French:) G taught me how to order this little briorche which is....I forgot.

The Louvre! *Claps in excitement*

The queue to go in was scarily long but was surprisingly fast-moving. You gotta hand it to the Louvre staff - that was only like 10% of the queue in the picture but we got into the Louvre within half an hour or so.

The iconic glass pyramid at the entrance of the Louvre simply filled me with awe

What being in the glass pyramid feels like

Aaaaand we enter the Louvre!
I took so many pictures of the sculptures and paintings, I would either be nuts or hate myself terribly to put them all up. So just the more famous and beautiful art pieces would have the honour of gracing my blog:D

The most famous painting in the Louvre, and in the entire world, for that matter:

There's something surreal about seeing such a famous, renowned piece of artwork with my own eyes. For a moment there, I could hardly believe I was really looking at the Mona Lisa.

The famous The Consecration of the Emperor Napoleon I

Some other beautiful paintings and sculptures and pictures of the Egyptian art.

Venus de Milo

Self-portrait by A. Dürer

The Lacemaker by J. Vermeer

Psyche and Cupid by A. Canova

And another famous art piece, probably one of the most popular in the Louvre, after the Mona Lisa:

Captive (The Dying Slave) by Michelangelo

After nearly 5 hours in the Louvre, we pretty much saw everything we wanted to see. So with that, we bid adieu to the Louvre:)

With its breathtaking architecture

We chilled awhile in the Gardens of the Louvre and saw the cutest little French doggy:D

Saw the prettiest blue sky

And the Eiffel Towers in the distance!

What we saw on our way to the Arc du Triomph:

The most beautiful fields of lavendars

Oh yes, you might not be able to tell from the sunshine and blue sky, but it's actually pretty cold. I was wearing a jacket, a windbreaker and a scarf and I could still feel the wind.

LOL talk about the French's obsession with aesthetics. I have no idea what building this is, but while undergoing renovation, they still made sure the building would be picture-perfect...by putting a life-sized cardboard picture to hide renovation works.

There was an arts cultural show going on somewhere along the road that stretched from the Louvre to the Arc du Triomph so police were deployed to maintain order. I tried my best but I couldn't see a lot of cute French policemen, maybe cos they were all wearing sunglasses.

*Squeal!*

Hahahha okaaaay I'm not in the league to buy LV stuff YET but it's still pretty exciting to see this Louis Vuitton flagship store in Paris. And we even get to walk past Champs-Elysees!

Unfortunately, that's about as close as I got to Champs, shopping paradise of Paris and pretty much Europe:(((((. WHY? Because dear old BMW insisted on going to some stuffy, boring old church on our last day in Paris, while we had agreed previously to go shopping. So now do you guys understand how much I hate her?

And hello, how many churches do you want to go to to prove your undying devotion to Jesus? We've already gone to the more famous ones like Westminster Abbey and Notre Dame AND one more at Mont St Michel (which frankly speaking, I've never heard of ). So devoted, go donate your money to your church but DON'T eat into my shopping time. WTF. Stupid waste of my time. 4 churches in 10 days!

And the best part? The church which ate into MY shopping time was .... see, I can't even be bothered to remember the name. That's cos IT WASN'T EVEN FREAKING FAMOUS. Sure, it may be a replica of the St. Peter's Basalica (however you spell that) but that's all that is. A REPLICA. A small, tiny, boring church and NOT ONE OF THE MUST-SEE LANDMARKS IN PARIS AS YOU SO LOUDLY PROCLAIMED.

How do I know? COS I WENT TO GOOGLE SEARCH AND IT NEVER CAME UP ON PARIS' LIST OF MUST -SEE ATTRACTIONS.

Bloody hell. Got scammed out of shopping at a TRUE Paris landmark to go to a stuffy little church. #*$&#^&*$*#&$%*$&!&*^&%

Next time I go Europe, I'm automatically banning all Christians from my buddy list. Unless I go to China. Then I will invite my fellow buddhist/taoist/ free-thinker friends and one of those annoying self-righteous Christians and see how she likes it if we go temples pray every day HAHAHHAHA.

Anyway, we got our first glimpse of Arc du Triomph:))))

Night view of Gare du Nord Station and Paris streets from our room.

Gosh this turned out to be quite a lengthy post and I'm only half way through my trip lol. More pictures next time promise hahaha.

Daaaay 3 .... and 4

2011-07-09T00:07:00.002+08:00

Had no pictures of Day 3 lol. Cos I very stupidly forgot to put the camera back in bag after taking it out to charge the previous night.

Not that it matters anyway cos we went to this teeny-weeny town called Brighton, which the BMW insisted on going. Frankly speaking I can't see what the big deal about it was. Sure, the pebbled beach is pretty and it does have a gorgeous view of the sea. But the skies were overcast and it was raining almost the entire day. So it's not like we have a nice Florida-like beach, with the warm sun and the golden sand. Instead we just spent the whole day playing arcade games. The only thing worth remembering about that place was my virgin trip to the casino:)

Unlike in Singapore, the casino's minimum age was 18 years old so we were all allowed to enter. It's a really small one anyway, with only a couple of tables each for Blackjack and Roulette and other games and a small room for Poker. Plus a few jackpot machines that's all. Meh.

So let's move on to Day 4!

Day 4 was by far the most exciting because we went back to Central London and visited some of the most famous places in the entire world.

Lo and behold, the Buckingham Palace!

It was around 11am, when the Changing of Guards took place, the event which everybody was waiting for. I couldn't get to the gates near enough without being suffocated by the crowd so I had no idea what went on inside the Palace grounds during the change:(

But I did have a pretty decent spot during the soldiers' march so yeah, I could live with that.

When the gates started to open again, the crowd stirred in excitement.

The soldiers putting all the music stands away after the changing ceremony

Goodbye, Buckingham Palace. You are totally awesome and one of the highlights of my London trip.

Next up, Westminster Abbey!

We didn't go into Westminster Abbey because 1) the queue was freakishly long and 2) it costs £16 just to go in. I'm sure it must be totally awesome inside but why spend $32 on it when I can see the whole thing just by going onto Youtube and searching for "The Royal Wedding", right?

Goodbye Westminster Abbey. I still love you even though later on in the trip, someone would teach me to totally hate churches and cathedrals but more about that later.

House of Parliament! Plus the Big Ben

View of the House of Parliament and Big Ben from Westminster Bridge:

Saw protest camps outside the House of Parliament!

Walking along River Thames:

Random pictures:

A very cute patriotic English cab hahahah

I really regret not trying this. Not knowing what it tastes like is KILLING ME.

Guards outside some museum which I didn't catch the name of. Maybe the Queen's jewels are inside.

M&M's World!It's so colourful and happy inside! Didn't stay long though, cos we were in a hurry to catch:

WICKED!!

I swear, Wicked is absolutely amazing. I'm kinda lazy to type out the whole story here but it's a twist to the story of The Wizard of Oz, involving the Good and Wicked Witch. Go Wikipedia to read la hahaha. No words can describe how impressed and taken away I was by this musical. I would definitely spend £46 on it again in a heartbeat.

(Actually, the tickets usually cost waaay more than £46 but we got last-minute tickets to that day's show, which always go much cheaper. So we were lucky:))

And now to end this long post with some treats for the eyes!:D Feast upon them!

No, it's not pictures of cute guys, although we did see tons of them. More in France than London really. That's why when I came back, you guys didn't hear me complaining about the lack of eye-candies here in Singapore, right? I've seen enough to last me, let's see....3 weeks? We shall seeeeee:)

Sure, they are no 1.75m-tall hunks with broad chests and muscular arms and stunning smiles but they are easy on the eyes, aren't they? Especially those cupcakes in the last picture! Absolutely delicious, even though it's slightly on the sweet side. I bought one because they look so sweet, my heart melted right there and then.

Alrighty, next up, we go to France! Stay tuned!:D

Day 2 in London

2011-07-05T15:55:00.002+08:00

Woke up the next day to the freshest air and nicest, cool weather and this view. There was silence all around in the countryside except for the occassional chirping of birds.
Took the bus down to Stratford, the place where Shakespeare was born and grew up in.

I swear, Stratford has one of the most gorgeous sceneries around. It is such a happy family place, perhaps due to the fact that it was a Sunday on that day. Everywhere you see adults and grandparents with happy, squealing excited little kids and couples walking their dogs...it has such a relaxed, laidback atmosphere. Plus the weather was really cool and lovely. We sat down on the grass underneath a tree, facing the river and had their famed fish and chips.

Fantastic view + yummy food. What more can we ask for?:)

Later on we went to the mini flea market/ fair they were having on that day.

You might not be able to tell from the pictures, but the toffees were freaking yummy

Explored the streets of Stratford

Hahahaha I LOOOOOOOOVE this ice-cream truck so much!

Up ahead, we saw Shakespeare's house. Unfortunately, time was running short - we had to catch the last bus back to London. In addition, the entrance fee into his house was rather pricey so we decided not to go in.

This statue was in made in honour of one of Shakespeare's works. What was it, Twelfth Night? I'm not sure, anybody studied Literature?

So anyway, left around 5pm to catch the bus back to Warwick and then take the last bus at around 7pm back to London. And hence ends Day 2.

Day 1 in London

2011-07-05T14:46:00.003+08:00

Well, what do you know. Looks like the blogging bug found me at last. Frankly speaking, I've never really liked recording down events but hell, Europe's worth the pain and effort.

So anyway. My flight was at 11.30pm on 17 June, on SQ322. Was slightly nervous since this was my first time flying alone and on such a long flight. Met the cutest Cisco guy at customs, who looked around my age. He was really friendly and talked to me while waiting for my bag to be screened. His name was Arthur Yap and before I left, he told me to come find him when I come back:) I have no idea whether he was serious or not but if anyone happens to know him, please please pleeeeease pass me his number. I know the chances of that happening are like nil but I'm still going to allow comments anyway. Hey, you think local guys as cute and friendly as he is grow on trees in Singapore?

Waiting for my flight in Terminal 3

Oh by the way, please congratulate me. I finally found where all the good-looking Singaporean guys are! Yes, they are all air stewards on SIA. No wonder we couldn't find many of them around, when half the time they are flying off to some exciting place in the world.

But I'm serious, the younger SIA air stewards are like oooooh my goodness. I guess it's the way they are groomed, their neat appearance and friendly smiles and those immaculate dark blue uniform. Which is really sexy by the way. Perhaps I would see them differently if they were wearing one of those "I'm with stupid----->" T-shirts but I prefer to think SIA air stewards have waaaaay too much class to be wearing such douchey shirts. Even when they are at home.

Oh, and there were quite a number of cute young Singaporean guys flying off to London as well. Which probably means they are studying there. Psssshhhhttttt. So that cuts the number of cute local guys into half furthermore. Bah :(

Anyway, back to the flight. If you haven't flown SQ before, you should definitely try it. This may sound biased, but it REALLY is the great way to fly. I don't claim to be an expert on flight standards but I was pretty comfortable throughout the whole 13 hour flight. Well, plus there was this super cute young air steward who was in charge of servicing my section of the plane:) Bonus points!

I wasn't the only one who thought SQ flight was awesome. The Swedish gentlemen sitting next to me on the plane couldn't stop raving about it too. He was this really friendly guy who talked to me a lot, about his 2nd wife who was English and his 3 kids and stepdaughter, about his work (can't remember what it was), where he lives and what are some must-sees in London and Paris.

Ok enough about the flight otherwise it's gonna be a lengthy post. Reached London Heathrow Airport at 6am London time, 18 June. Was surprised that I cleared Customs there in half an hour's time, after hearing so much negative feedback about the inefficiency of LHR airport. Went to the tube station to wait for my cousin to pick me up. Looooong walk to the tube station made me miss the convenience of Changi Airport lol. Yeah we are spoilt that way.

Met my cousin and his friend, who shall henceforth be known as The Bossy Manipulative Witch or BMW (my apologies to the esteemed car brand. Love you laaa muacks). Took an hour plus to reach my cousin's other friend in London, Steven who was studying at....London College? Can't remember. Went for brunch at The Breakfast Club.

My delicious pancakes with maple syrup and vanilla cream

Then went to Trafalgar Square where West End Live was performing. It's an annual event which showcases performances from top West end musicals. I didn't catch much of it cos BMW insisted on going to the National Museum nearby to look at paintings *yawn*. I mean, I do appreciate art, but we will be going to the Louvre in a few days time, what better place to appreciate art than that?

She's a Christian by the way, so that probably explains her "interest" in art. I mean, more than half the paintings there were about Jesus, for Christ's sake (pun intended). In the end, I got so bored of it (and sick of her looking reverentially at the 8724th huge-ass painting of people worshipping Jesus) I escaped to find Steven, who stayed back to watch the performance in Trafalgar Square.

And it was really awesome. But thanks to BMW, I missed the Thriller, Lion King and Legally Blonde showcase and I mourned. Fortunately, those that I caught weren't too bad either. The weather in London was strange - it would rain for 5 minutes, then out came the sun. Few minutes later, it would start raining again. But it was still fun even though we got drenched from the rain.

The very iconic telephone booths lol

At Trafalgar Square:

After that we took a 3 hour bus ride down to Conventry, Warwickshire, University of Warwick where G's studying. It was around 9.30pm before we reached but the day was still bright. It felt like only 5pm there. Nevertheless, for someone like me who has never been to temperate countries, to say that I was cold would be a severe understatement. The biting cold wind was especially harsh and I was freezing even though I was wearing 2 jackets and a windbreaker. If this is what summer is like in London, I hate to imagine winter there.

Fortunately G's room has a really decent heater so I got warmed up pretty nicely. And hence ends Day 1 in London.

This, my friends, is what they call a teaser

2011-07-04T17:32:00.001+08:00

YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY English brunch

Beautiful Coventry countryside

Stunning Stratford

And then we move on to the City of Lights.

Aaaaaand cut!

Most of my pictures will be up on Facebook but for the fine details, stay tuned to this page:) And I will also tell you guys about that obnoxious bossy bitch who marred my otherwise perfect Europe vacation. There! Got your attention, didn't I? Hahahahahaha oh well, when inspiration and the motivation to blog comes, I will get down to it.

But for now, my dear friends, this is just a teaser to whet your appetites for more:) ta ta!

I blew it:(

2011-06-14T21:54:00.001+08:00

The clinic is always boring and the fact that it's situated in a old-folks environment doesn't help. I mean, senior citizens aren't really that plentiful yet right? Isn't it supposed to be until 2030, where 1/5 of the population will be aged 60 years and above or something?

So what gives? Don't ~~cute young guys~~ young people get sick too?

In the past, I would wish ("Please please pleeeeease let a cute guy come into the clinic today") / pray ("Dear God, please let a cute guy come today") / bargain ("Dear God, if you send a cute guy into the clinic today, I would believe that you.....oooooh a puppy!")

But so far my wishes/ prayers/ bargains have gone relatively unanswered. Now I just take things as it is. Clearly, my prayers have been missed out among all the stacks of prayers He must receive every day, from all those tree-huggers praying for world peace and an end to world hunger.

Either that or cute guys just don't get sick :(

So anyway, today was another typical work day. Too old, too young, too blah, too into Justin Bieber....all sorts of patients came in and out. It wasn't until lunchtime when things started looking up.

And by looking up, I meant someone who's tall, really cute, young, polite, has a nice smile and French.

Oooh la la! *heart skips a beat*

By a stroke of luck, when he approached the counter, I was the only one who was free to attend to him. He gave me his name and when I took it, he smiled....and suddenly everything brightened. The flowers were beaming and a bird nearby chirped and little rabbits hopped around.

I can do it. Everything's in place. It's so easy - all I have to do is tell him I'm visiting Paris soon, any recommendations for a first-timer there? It's all so perfect, I almost want to laugh at it all.

What I didn't count on, however, was the sudden influx of patients after him.

Of course, my nerves failed me. If only the patients had come in just 5 minutes later! If only he had come at night! If only the clinic door chose to jam at that moment! If only....

Oh well, at least I did get to dispense his medicine. And just before he left, he thanked me and smiled again, melting me in the process. As he went out, I felt slightly sorrowful that I had let such a golden opportunity slip through my fingers.

But it's not over yet! Ah that powerful feeling of having everybody's contact details on hand. Thanks to that wonderful medical records I held, I know that he lives nearby and is single! I know his handphone number! I know his birthday! I know what he works as! I know....what's wrong with him today!

I could call his mobile and pretend I got the wrong number. I could stop by his house and pretend to be lost. Or perhaps ask if he's seen my lost puppy. The possibilities are limitless! Ah, Mr Jonathan Raphael two-other-sexy-sounding-French-names-that-I-can't-remember. I will be seeing you soon!

Did I ever mention how fun working at the clinic is?:)

Disclaimer: The last 3 paragraphs were written purely in jest. So my dear friends, please don't start deleting me on Facebook.

I will be back soon!:D

2011-06-04T16:34:00.000+08:00

I apologize for not keeping the events in my blog up to date but soon I promise! Life's been really great but busy for me lately so thanks to all the people who have asked! muacks! hahahha will blog about things soon, when things aren't so crazy. Meanwhile, there's a picture I have been meaning to put up for a long time and here it is:

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Most people at first sight would go "WHAT THE HELL?!" but there's something I find endearing about it. Don't ask me why lol. It looks like a really grumpy frowny character. I remember seeing a picture of a similar comic character with the same grouchy expression and a big nose but I can't remember the name. Oh well.

It kind of made me want to go, "I will name you Bob and you shall be mine!" just like Dory in Finding Nemo:D

"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy"

2011-04-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

This is just going to be a short post to thank all those who have been here for me these past few weeks:)))))

If you know what I'm talking about, then you are one of those who have been so amazing and incredible to me.

So a really big THANK YOU and a huge hug to all of you, for

1) Talking to me until 11pm at Bugis TCC

2) Calling me all the way from camp and keeping me company for 45 minutes. Even though we mostly talked about random crap;)

3) Staying with me on ebuddy all throughout the morning and afternoon even though you had guard duty the previous night

4) Lending me a listening ear and proving to me that I did the right thing while we were at Tampines Mall

5) All the heart-to-heart talks you girls gave me:)

6) Helping me to find something which I really needed;)))

7) Accompanying me and walking all the way from Takashimaya to Bras Basah Complex in the middle of the night and then talking to me until 2am.

And so on.

Basically, you guys were there for me when I needed it and I can't even begin to describe how thankful and glad I am to have all of you. You gave me the support I needed, told me that I made the right decision and helped prevent me from doing something really stupid. Like REALLY REALLY dumb. Possibly suicidal to my own ego too hahahha.

You were right when you said I have to let go of the broken old box to take the new one in. That analogy stayed with me. I don't know if you made that up or not but it is so true, I'm considering putting that on my desktop:)

This hasn't been an easy experience but if there is one thing I can learn from it, is that you guys have proven what true friends I have. Everything became so much more easier with you guys around and now....everything feels like it will be ok again:) It will take some time but the light at the end of the tunnel is so much nearer now.

All your comforting words, moral support, listening ears, sharing of past experiences and telling me that I deserve better.....I really couldn't ask for more. You guys are the best friends anybody could ever wish for and I'm so glad I have you all. Once again, a HUGE thank you to all of you and I love you all :)))))

A smile can brighten the darkest day

2011-04-09T12:00:00.000+08:00

Many times, we are not aware that the smallest, insignificant things can cause extreme hurt or happiness to someone else.

A very good friend once remarked, "I don't need to use vulgarities or fists to hurt you. Just ignoring someone can hurt as bad."

I have always found that true. How many times have it hurt you when your good friend ignores you once they found some new friends? Or if they broke a promise and forgot how much they once meant to you?

I have never been a fan of promises - I had way too much unhappy experiences with broken promises. Some people go about promising things but in the end failed to keep them. I don't trust these people too much.

Another thing which can hurt me as much is being unappreciated. I will do anything for my family and friends, as long as they are appreciative of it. But if you never bothered thanking me or acknowledging what I have done for you, well you can pretty much kiss my help goodbye.

Anyway!On a less emo note....I find that most people tend to underestimate the power of a smile:)

Working in a clinic has taught me that lots of times, all it takes is a smile and a "thank you" to keep us happy and warm for the rest of the day.

Caucasians are usually the only people who bother acknowledging our work and thanking us for our service. They will come in all cheery and greet us with a warm "good morning!". Before leaving, they will thank us and wish us a good day Most other races (except maybe the Japanese - now that's a thumbs up to them) just come in sullen and grouchy without so much as a smile or a "thank you".

It always makes me kind of sad that Singaporeans have such poor manners. Take it from me, a smile can really go a long way into making our lives slightly more bearable. And a little kid did that for me just yesterday:)))

For those who didn't know, I went back to ABC Company DEF Lane Blk U #06-66 (company address changed to protect myself) to work for a short period of time while settling some of my personal matters. Because two of their staff had left, they were seriously short-handed and I ended up with twice the workload I usually have to do.

So yesterday, the supervisor kept my nose to the grindstone for the whole day, with the result that by 7pm, althought I was aching all over from sitting too long in my chair, I had to make my way down to the clinic for my night shift. I was tired both mentally and physically and I just want to go home, curl up in my chair with a cup of hot coffee and my blanket around me and watch back-to-back episodes of Friends until I forget about everything. Just thinking about serving unappreciative people pulled my spirits even lower.

Before I go any further, I have to talk about this little patient called Linus. I think I have mentioned this a long time ago. I saw him around 2 years ago and at that time, he was only one-year plus. He was the sweetest little thing, big eyes and with two deep dimples that flashed when he smiled. He was quiet and still if there's a male doctor but once he saw me, he gave the biggest smile with those irresistable dimples. Then his mom will laugh and pretend to chide him, "Aiyo, you little chee ko pek ah! See girls only smile."

Melts my heart totally, that little one:))))

I never saw Linus again for the next 2 years or so, but I never forgot him. See the power of a sweet, innocent smile? So imagine my happiness when I walked into the clinic yesterday and I saw his card waiting on the queue, ready for medicine to be dispensed.

Turns out the little sweetie had insect bites so when his father carried him up to the counter in his arms, he looked all forlorn and miserable. He was carrying a stuffed toy in his arm and looked so sad that my heart went out to him. So I talked to him and the minute he looked up and saw me, he started smiling again. The sweetest, brightest smile. And did I mention those dimples?

And I swear, at that moment, I forgot about everything.

I forgot that I was tired and aching. I forgot that I was frustrated and in pain. I forgot that I was starving. That bright smile was just like the rainbow that parted the dark clouds and my world was once again bathed in sunlight. In just that 5 seconds, he managed to make me smile too and filled me with a warm, snug feeling that lasted all the way until I went home.

The little angel doesn't realize it but he had just given me the best present for that week and something which I will treasure for a long time to come.

Besides Linus, who by far is my favourite, I have met several little kids who have also managed to melt my heart totally. There is this little Eurasian girl called Amy, a bouncy little 4-year-old who loves singing and always asks me for sweets. The only downside is that she calls me "auntie":( Then there is this little Arab boy with big eyes and loves grabbing at things on the counter - the pens, the boxes, the leaflets - and has the cutest giggle. And there is this little Chinese girl who will blow me kisses every time she leaves.

I think we all need to learn a thing or two from kids when it comes to giving out smiles and laughter. It doesn't cost anything, so why are we so stingy when it comes to it?

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight" - Phyllis Diller

"So, what are you doing now?"

2011-01-28T13:55:00.002+08:00

If I have a dollar for every time someone asked me that question, I would be well on my way to touring Europe now.

It seems like that's everybody's favourite conversation opener nowadays and I swear, it's annoying the hell out of me. Everybody pretends that they care about what you are doing but I think we all know they just have nothing else to say. How do I know they are pretending to care? Because 3 months later, they come and ask you the same thing.

And unfortunately, with CNY just around the corner, I am fully bracing myself to be pestered with the same question over and over and over and over again.

Which is why I have come up with the MH guide to answering that question. Different possible answers catered specially for different kinds of people.

Everybody, meet M, who's currently unemployed ~~and enjoying life~~ but trying to discover herself , to get a better understanding of what she wants out of life so as to be able to fulfil her aspirations.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

#1. Will you ever see this person again?
a) Yes:
    - Go to #2
b) No:
    - Go to #8

#2. Who is this person to you?
a) Relatives: ^1
    - Go to #3
b) Friends/ ex-colleagues:
    - Go to #6

#3. Do you like this relative?
a) She gave me chocolates when I was young!
    - Chances are, nice relatives like that won't ask and probe too much and annoy the hell out of you. But if they do, you can always subtly change to your answer according to #4

b) She gave me nightmares when I was young!
    - Go to #4

#4. Is the hot weather bothering you? ^2
a) The weather hot meh?
    - How M would reply:
      I'm currently trying out different things in life. So far I have worked in ___ & ___. Actually, I have always wanted to be a (rewarding ambition) but I feel that I should try out more stuff and explore around before deciding on a route in life to take. I don't want to be rushed into something, only to realize that's not what I want out of life. Life is simply too short for us to waste or be miserable blah blah blah......

(Perfect for: snotty relatives whose child just got into Raffles Institution)
SIDENOTE: NEVER ever say you are unemployed, not unless you want to be drowned by contemptous glances. Just state loudly what you have been doing, then go on to talk about some touching childhood ambition/ that enlightened moment when you suddenly had an epiphany about what you want to achieve in life.
After that, pretend to be all thoughtful and serious, steering towards the subject of how precious a gift life is and making it seem like you are taking life seriously, even though all you do all day long is try to achieve high scores on Bejeweled Blitz.
Oh, and be sure to declare loudly that you have plans all along to get a degree and taking a gap year is just to ensure you don't get into the wrong course and waste years on it because life is simply too precious yadda yadda (always link back to the value of life and you can't go wrong).

b) Someone get a bucket to hold me please:
    - Go to #5

#5. How often will you see this relative?
a) Only on CNY:
    - How M would reply:
     I have applied for several jobs and I think I will start after CNY. It's something to do with ____ and most likely I will be doing _____. Sorry, I think my mom needs help in the kitchen, please excuse me.^3

(Perfect for: old aunts/ uncles who probably have too many nieces/ nephews to remember you anyway)
SIDENOTE: If you are seeing this relative only once a year, chances are they won't call up to check if you have gotten that job and mostly likely, they won't remember it the next year.

b) Twice a year or more:
    - How M would reply:
     I want to try working as a ___ so I have sent in my application for a job at ___. Sorry, I think my mom needs help in the kitchen, please excuse me.^3

SIDENOTE: These are the relatives that will keep asking you the same question every time. And most likely, they will remember what you said and be all, "But I thought you said you are going to apply for___?"
So, unfortunately with them, you can't spin out a beautiful lie and may actually have to apply for the job that you said you would. In any case, just back out fast to avoid landing yourself in deeper shit.

#6. Do you like this friend/ ex-colleague?
a) Hell yeah!
    - This is easy. Just tell the truth la
b) Yeah, when hell freezes over
    - Go to #7

#7. Will you be seeing this person again any time soon?
a) Most likely :(
    -How M would reply: See #5b)

SIDENOTE: Similarly these are the people who will say things like,"Hey! How's life? Have you applied for (your lie)? How's it going?"
In that case, just shrug it off and casually say something like,"Things are great!"^4 then change the subject to movies or the weather or if you want to annoy them back, ask them what THEY are doing. Or you can always pray that a bird flies overhead and drops a doodie on them.

b) Not likely :)
    - How M would reply:
     I'm currently working as (some impressive title)^3. It's great fun, although it's hard work. Oh and I have been accepted into (some uni course which all smart people go to, but which sounds so boring, nobody would think of asking about it e.g. biomedical engineering). So I will be starting school again in half a year's time blah blah blah.....

SIDENOTE: Ah, this is where the fun begins. Even more so if you are talking to that snooty, pretentious ex-colleague who is approaching her forties and stuck doing data entry all day long. Just kindly smirk down at her and mention casually about "how much more you are being paid in your new company".
Of course, this will seem terribly pathetic and insecure but hey, you know what they say about one man's meat being another man's poison. Ah~sweet revenge.

#8. Is this person a cute guy?
a) "Gosh his chest looks perfect to lean on..." Sorry, you were saying?
    - Go to #9
b) Sorry, I'm allergic to people with greasy hair
    - How M would reply:
i) Sorry, I'm on my way to the airport to catch a flight to Timbuctoo
ii) Sorry, my mom just called to say my fish has drowned
iii) Sorry, I'm rushing home just in case someone calls and informs me that I have won a million dollars

(Perfect for: annoying oily, greasy-haired sales promoters.)

#9. Are you in any sort of a hurry?
a) Yeah.....
    - Oh well, too bad for you
b) Hurry? What hurry? Siao, you think guys like that fall from the sky every day meh?
    - Go to #10

#10. How do you want the guy to think of you?
a) Smart geek
    - Plausible uni courses: Medicine, English literature, Sociology
    - Suicidal uni courses: Anything related to Engineering^5

b) Relaxed, laid-back girl
    - Plausible phrases to work into your conversation: working part-time/ trying out different things/ taking time to find out what you want in life (at the same time, subtly hint that you are free most of the time)

Desirable ending: "Can I have your number? Maybe we can be friends."
Undesirable ending: "Hey, my girlfriend is looking for a part-time job too, do you have any recommendations?

^1: Because, obviously, you can't deviate from the truth too much with relatives, no matter how much you enjoy shaking them up. You don't want your mom bursting into your room one day and exclaiming, "What's this I hear about you wanting to run off and be a tattoo artist?!"

^2: Studies have shown that the higher the temperature, the lower a person's boiling point gets. So to avoid any trouble, keep your answers short.

^3: Prior to this, choose an impressive or rewarding career and do a bit of homework on it. Or you can always leech yourself to a friend who has worked in some kickass company and feed off their experience there

^4: In your defense, you never actually acknowledged that you are working as....whatever you told them. So your answer "things are great!" is quite simply, a universal statement to how life is for you right now, regardless of whether you are actually doing anything productive.

^5: Unless you are unfortunate enough to meet a guy who actually studied the same course that you said, this should be fairly safe. Even so, it's probably better to at least have a basic understanding of the course, less you sound like a total airhead. If all fails, just pretend to spot a friend and run off.

DISCLAIMER: All above content is written purely from the writer's own point of view and experience and should not be taken seriously. Please take all stereotypes with a pinch of salt too.

Picture credits: http://www.google.com/

Confessions of a bookworm

2010-12-27T10:35:00.003+08:00

I love books. Books are the love of my life.

Back when I was in primary school, people always looked at me funny whenever I said that. And when I was all excited because the next day, my mom woud be bringing me to Popular or the library, they lifted my fringe to check for my lobotomy stitches.

"What happened? Why is your mom punishing you??!"

Ah-hem.

So anyway, this Christmas aka 2 days ago, I received one of the best Christmas presents ever

I found this baby lying on my table when I came back home on Christmas Day. Naturally, my mom thought I had flipped when I screamed out in excitement.

I carefully lifted them out of the bubble wrap and gazed at them in wonderment. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that can compare to that feel and excitement of holding new books in your hands. No creases, no bent pages, no dust. In a word - perfect.

Oh yeah. I bought those books online - in order of appearance, The Playbook, Baby Blues 26 Ambushed! In the Family Room and Calvin & Hobbes - It's a Magical World. The whole thing came up to only $50+ and as a Christmas special, all the books are delivered to my house for free. I didn't expect delivery to be so prompt. Within 4 days of my payment and what's more, it came exactly on Christmas Day! It's a Christmas miracle!

I confess - I had been on a bit of an online shopping high recently and these aren't the first books I have purchased. Among all the books I had bought, one of my most treasured purchases is none other than:

Ta-dahhhhhhh!!!

Any fans of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart will appreciate this book as much as I do. And it costs a good $5 or so less than if I were to buy it from any bookshop here.

This book, written by the immensely talented authors behind the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and of course, Jon Stewart himself, is a humour parody satire book, targetting aliens who may stumble upon this book centuries after mankind has been wiped out from this planet. Let me give you all a little sneak peek:

ON THE SOLAR SYSTEM:
Uranus - this is the funniest planet so far, but you will have to spend about ten years learning idiomatic English to learn why

ON WEATHER:
- Snow was tiny hexagonal cyrstals of frozen water. It was said that no two snowflakes were exactly alike, although to be honest, nobody ever took the time to check.

- Fog was a type of low-lying aerial mist. It was the perfect cover for killing prostitutes.

ON EXTINCTION:
Sabre-toothed tiger: sneeze resulted in self-decapitation

ON SKIN COLOUR:
.....After all, pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.

THE PLAYBOOK

The "DON'T DRINK THAT!"

1) Identify your target and just as she's about to sip her drink, sprint over and shout," Don't drink that! I saw some guy slip something something in there!"

2) When she asks who did it, look around and point to the smallest dude in the room or a bro you want to play a funny prank on

3) Let her reward you for saving her life

The LITTLE ORPHAN BARNEY

1) On Mother's Day or Father's Day, head out to your local bar. Approach a chick and ask if she remembered to call her mother/ father to wish them a happy Mother's/ Father's Day. When she counters and asks if you called your mother/father, suddenly get a faraway look in your eyes and say, "I don't have a mother/ father."

2) Now that she feels like a terrible person, tell her you're an orphan - rare these days, but yes, you were raised without parents. That's why having a family and being an amazing father someday are the most important things in life to you. Oh, and satisfying a woman and junk like that too.

3) After you have sex with her and never call again, cross your fingers that she doesn't wind up with a fatherless child, because that would be cruelly ironic.

*

After I took those books out of their box, I took the liberty of rearranging my bookshelf without my mom giving me grief about it come this Chinese New Year. So now, Earth (The Book), The Playbook and along with all my Calvin & Hobbes and Baby Blues comic books occupy the bookshelf equivalent of a royal throne - right in the middle.

The first books that people will see once they enter my room. A place where, if the light hits in the right places, they will glow. A place where they can stand straight and smirk down at all those other lowly commoners aka books I have outgrown. My Shopaholic series and other chick lit novels, Archie comics, Harry Potter books surround them, like their knights, still fairly visible because they still hold a place in my heart.

Twilight, meanwhile, has gotten the place right at the bottom and nearest the rubbish bin.

I gotta learn to be less gullible

2010-12-08T23:42:00.003+08:00

"Excuse me, Miss. Are you a local?"

I glanced in surprise at the guy who had spoken to me. I was right in front of 313 Somerset and standing besides him was a girl. Both of them looked to be in their late 20s.

"Erm...yeah." Possibly tourists. Well, now's my chance to extend a bit of Singapore helpfulness to them. The government will be happy to know that all their friendliness campaigns, all that what service with a smile thingy, haven't gone to waste.

The guy smiled. "Great! We are doing a survey now, so can you possibly help us with a few questions?"

"Sure," I replied, seeing no harm in that.

"OK, first thing, we want to know if you eat breakfast every morning?"

"Yup."

"And what do you normally eat?"

I thought for a while. "Usually bread and a glass of milk."

"WAH!" the girl gave a huge gasp of shock. " A glass of milk! No wonder you are so pretty and fair!"

The guy chimed in. "Yeah lor, your friends must be very jealous of you right?"

Oh for God's sake. Have you ever heard anything less insincere? They are both just about as convincing as those emails which tell you you have won a million dollars and would you mind giving them your bank account no so that they can bank the one million dollars straight into your account.

And can that guy be any more gay?

But whatever. I just smiled and pretended to be all flattered and happy as the two of them continued to rain praises and compliments on me.

"So anyway," the girl continued once they have ran out of compliments."The both of us have just started a company dealing with nutrition and our office is just around the corner. Do you mind coming to our office so that we can finish our survey?"

"What?"I stared at the girl."I thought you are just going to give me a piece of paper to fill in?"

"Yeah we are not really allowed to conduct surveys here. Anyway, our office is just nearby and it won't take much of your time!"

"But I'm in a hurry..."I protested.

"It will only take 3 minutes I promise!"

"But...but..." my protests fell on deaf ears. The both of them stood by my side and somehow, they managed to corner me into following them. They led me across the road to Centre Point and all the while, I was thinking what a sucker I am. Kidnappers would have no problems getting me to follow them readily.

I followed them up a staircase and into a room tucked away in a corner of the second floor. Once I entered the office, I saw weighing machines and other machines I have never seen before, plus heavy files and boxes of what suspiciously look like health drinks to me.

And in that moment, I knew what they were trying to do.

And as far as that kind of sales go, I have seen waaaay more impressive ones at Ngee Ann City. That place is practically crawling with people from HUGE companies who specialize in this new...industry, I guess you can call them?

"Sit down sit down!" The girl chirruped, ushering me to a table nearby. "Ok, first I gotta ask you, what's your name?"

"Shi Min," Hey, I was pushed here against my own will, I don't have to play truthful.

"And how old are you this year?"

"Twenty," Dang it. I was going for twenty-four but my tongue somehow tripped and I don't want to look like an idiot who doesn't know her own age. Stupid tongue.

She went on to ask for my height and weight and then handed me this thing that looked like a Wii console and told me to grasp both ends of it really tightly. Meanwhile the guy had returned to our table with a bunch of leaflets and a file.

"What is that for?" I try not to feel so self-conscious, knowing full well I look like an idiot.

"It's to measure your body fat mass!" Or something like that. I can't really remember what she said or what it meant. "And it says...." she squinted at the number on the Wii console. "20"

The guy jumped in and started explaining what body fat mass or whatever that was meant. I was a bit freaked out about the number 20 but when I saw on this list the guy has of previous interviewees, most of them had body fat mass or something that fall above 30. I felt slightly better, especially after the guy told me that I have nothing to worry about.

Then the both of them went on to talk about all sorts of other things like...actually I really have no idea. I tuned out and just pretended to nod and say "hmmmm" at the right times, like I actually agreed with them even though I have zero clue what they were saying.

"....So our products will help prevent that from happening!"

"Hmmmm"

"....Contains aloe vera and vitamins A, B, C and proteins...."

"Hmmmmmmm"

".....Just 3 glasses a day....."

"Hmmmmmm" Wait, did I say that too fast? No, they don't look suspicious, no worries.

"It will make you slimmer!" The guy enthused (okay, I really think he's gay), opening a file filled with Before and After pictures of people who have taken their magical nutrition drinks. All of them are the same - in the Before pictures, all of them are fat and lumpy and looked the sorriest bunch of people. I can almost sense the word "SIGH" in a caption in those pictures.

But in the After pictures, they are all lean and slim, posing and giving the brightest, cheeriest smile. You can almost see the words coming out in a speech bubble like any typical slimming ads. "I DID IT! I LOST 20 KG IN 1 MONTH!"

Jeez, aren't these Before and After pictures a tad overused? Slimming ads, boob-enhancing ads, hair growth ads yadda yadda. Nothing a bit of photoshop can't do. You think I would fall for the oldest trick in the book? You wish.

I imagine if I were to take their advice and try out their products, the next time my picture would be along in that book too. Only my After picture would be my present photo, and for my Before picture, they would give me a bulging tummy, flabby arms and thighs and give me a bigger butt.

They then continued to promote their nutrition drinks, which comes in a packet of powder that you mix into water every day and which can apparently substitute for one meal. Huh. So much for 3 minutes. At the end, probably sensing no interested vibes from me, they gave me their company card, told me to think about it and call them if I want to try it, then showed me to the door.

I stepped out of their office and blinked in the sudden bright white lights on the ceiling outside. Shifting my handbag into a more comfortable position, I threw the company card into the bin nearby and headed to the nearest Burger King for a packet of Medium onion rings.

Confidence is half the battle won

2010-12-02T23:29:00.002+08:00

Ok I know I haven't exactly been updating this blog recently. But that's only because I've been er.....erm...busy. Yeah kinda.

Anyway, to add on a bit to my previous post about sales promoters....I forgot an extra trait about some of them to add on.

These are the craftier ones - they don't even glance at you, then just when you are nearing them...BOOM! They pounce on you. Boy, talk about sneaky. Just when you think you are safe and you don't bother spinning a web of lies to feed them, they swooped down on you and you are so surprised, you just crumble and tell them the real you.

I experienced that at Parkway Parade last Thursday. I was minding my own business as usual, when this sales promoter suddenly came out of nowhere. I did see him from afar but he was looking around and I figured, I'm probably not one of his target market so I just happily walked towards his direction, thinking I have nothing to fear.

Big mistake. I was taken aback and my first instinct was to bluff my way out. Unfortunately, my mind froze for a moment and I can't, for the life of me, think of a single lie. So in the end, I pretty much told the truth about myself. Luckily, he needed someone who's over the age of 21 so I'm let off quite easily.

As I walked away, I started feeling a teensy bit bad that I had contemplated bluffing him. I mean, he was polite and friendly and it was a really hot day. He's just trying to earn a living too, he's...

Ok fine, he's cute.

Which brings me to my topic of the day:)

To me, one of the most attractive features anybody, no matter if you are a guy or girl, can have is confidence. It doesn't matter if you are just a plain jane or average joe, if you carry yourself with confidence, it can be pretty charming.

Take Sarah Jessica Parker, for instance. I admit, she is quite fugly in certain angles but there is a certain charisma about her, from the way she carries herself, that actually makes her look high-class and glamourous.

" She's worth 25 million dollars, of course she's confident!"

Weeeeell......that may be true but just take a look at Kristen Stewart

Well? Kristin Stewart is worth like 23 million dollars but she looks like some irritating emo kid who could go over the edge any second.

And Rob Patz, you are dead hideous. Go away.

Now where was I? Oh yes, confidence.

My previous boss is a symbol of confidence. Come on, that man drives a Porsche and some other swanky, uber-cool car. Have you ever seen anybody with that kind of money, but doesn't exude some kind of self-assuredness? He may be wearing a plain polo tee and pants but when he walks, one can instantly tell that this is a man of great stature and high calibre.

The best thing is, he isn't in the least bit conceited. He often talks and jokes with me whenever he sees me. And just for that, I respect him even more.

That's not to say, though, that people who don't drive flashy cars or live in luxury can't exude self-confidence. I have several friends, just normal hardworking people, who carry themselves with confidence, regardless of whether they are talking or walking. All these things are attractive to me and more often than not, I find myself enjoying their company more. For one thing, they don't constantly self-deprecate. Imagine how annoying it would be:

Me: .......blah blah blah........

Annoying self-deprecating person (ASDP): ....blah blah...oh I am SO stupid!

Me: ......blah blah mwah mwah.....

ASDP: ....blah blah....I am SO ugly and useless!

Me: ....blah blah blah...

ASDP: ....I am SO FAT!!

Me: ...... blah blah blah......

ASDP: .....blah....I am so stupid, ugly, useless and FAAAAT. I hate myself :'(

Good lord, get a grip! Honestly, they can fill a dictionary with all those constant self-degrading remarks that they make *rolls eyes*

I absolutely HATE and have zero tolerance for people like that. Where every conversation is peppered with their whines and moans about how they think they are worth less than dirt. It is so goddamn annoying. God. Talk about extremes.

BUT! The other extreme end is equally annoying as well. Yes, I'm talking about people who brag and swagger around as though they own the whole damn world. Cocky bastards. Egotistic jackasses. Pretentious snobs. I hate them equally.

Me: ...blah blah blah...

Snooty cow (SC): ...blah blah....ooooooh I look soooooo good today!

Me: ...blah blah blah....

SC: ...blah blah......gosh, I am sooooo talented!

Me: ...blah blah blah....

SC: ...blah......wow, I am so smart and talented and gorgeous! I want to marry myself *kisses reflection in mirror*

Yup. I'm pretty sure these people are convinced they are God's gift to mankind.

All that separates confidence and arrogance is actually a thin line. By being confident, I don't mean people should start expressing their good points for all to hear or go swaggering around. Sometimes when I'm around conceited people, I really do think they think they are being confident, but in reality, they have unknowingly crossed the line into narcissistic territory.

But hey, tolerance level is really subjective. I happen to be very sensitive about things like that. What I perceived to be arrogance and cockiness may actually be just normal confidence to some others. Some people can take it but when people start boasting around me, I enter a different world. My eyes start glazing over and while I may nod intelligently and smile at the right times, in my mind I'm sitting by the beach and all I hear is the sound of waves and seagulls calling over my head.

Sigh. Oh George Clooney, you handsome devil you *waves I heart George Clooney banner wildly*

*DING!*

Image credits: http://www.google.com/

The most annoying job in the world

2010-11-21T22:19:00.004+08:00

It's no secret that I loathe sales promoters. I think they are just being paid to annoy people. Imagine you are in a hurry and they just ambush you and follow you until at last you give in and listen to them give a lengthy description of their services or products.

I swear, all sales promoters are the same. They are harder to shake off than double-sided tape, think 15 minutes is the same as 2 minutes and have never heard of the phrase "NOT INTERESTED".

I was in AMK Hub on Wednesday when this sales promoter ambushed me. Slicked-back hair, a lanyard around his neck and spotting the BRIGHTEST smile, he spotted me from afar and stood in my path. How rude. I considered walking straight and bulldozing him over but sadly I wasn't huge enough.

So I was forced to stop and as a little bit of revenge, I fed him all sorts of bullshit. He wanted to know if I have a credit card, I told him no, I'm only 19 years old, a Year 1 student at NTU, studying engineering. I would have come up with more crap but I was in a hurry so I just sort of ran off.

Hey, these people should know what they signed up for.

But seriously, this is like one of the few chances when you can pose as anybody you wish! You can be a high-flying stockbroker, a troubled teen, an eager doctor-wannabe...let your imagination run wild! Just bullshit all the way and if they catch your lie, just pretend to spot your friend and run off. Easy-peasy. Imagine what fun it would be!

Scenario #1
ASP (Annoying Sales Promoter): Hi Miss! Do you have a credit card?
Me: Oh oh! I have a ThisFashion card! Does it count?
ASP: Er...no. A credit card is a card which allows you to pay for food and clothings without paying actual cash.
Me: Oooooh you mean my POSB card!
ASP (Getting frustrated): No no, not your POSB card. You know VISA? Mastercard?
Me: Who? Are they your friends? Gosh what funny names. Are they Swedish?
ASP: NO THEY ARE NOT SWEDISH NAMES
Me: Then what language is that? Swahili?
ASP: NO! THEY ARE CREDIT CARDS!
Me: Credit cards? What are they?
ASP: You know, cards that let you pay for your purchases without actually paying cash
Me: OH! You mean my POSB card!

And so on.

Scenario #2
ASP: Hi Miss! Do you have a credit card?
Me (putting on a strong Beijing accent. Doesn't matter if you can't really pull it off, few Singaporeans can tell. As long as you can speak Mandarin well, they will ask "Are you from China?" If I have a dollar for everytime someone asked me that...*rolls eyes*): 啊？你说啥儿？
ASP: Oh sorry (motions for someone who can speak Mandarin better)
2nd ASP (smiling brightly): 小姐，你好！能给我们一分钟的时间吗？
Me: I'm sorry, my Chinese is really lousy. What did you just say?

Scenario #3
ASP: Hi Miss! Do you have a credit card?
Me (glares angrily at him): What do you think?
ASP: Well, you look like you are working already and looks like you are doing quite well! So I will presume you do have one?
Me: What, you saying I look old is it? HUH?! You know, I have a VERY protective boyfriend. The last person who told me that spent a week in the hospital when a papaya dropped on her head from the 10th floor.

Scenario #4
ASP: Hi Miss! Do you have a credit card?
Me: Oh sure, Masters, Visa, you name it, I have it
ASP (happily thinking he hit the jackpot): WOW! May I know what you are working as?
Me: Oh, I'm currently just playing around with stocks (gives secretive smile)
ASP: Wow I can never understand stocks.
Me (smiles modestly): Let's just say I always have a sort of sixth sense when it comes to the market trend
ASP: WOW that's amazing
Me: Oh it's nothing really *waves hand dismissively* I don't really earn a lot you know. Maybe around...$20,000 per month? (pretends to think for a moment)
ASP (falling over in excitement): That's wonderful! Now, how about I introduce a new scheme we have come up with...
Me (pretends not to hear): You want to know my secret? How I am always able to predict the rise and fall of the various stocks so accurately?
ASP (intrigued): How?
Me (looks around, then leans in and says in a conspiratorial whisper): The stars at night tell me
ASP: Huh?
Me (still whispering): I hear them. Whenever I lean out of my window and looks up at the nightsky. They whisper, they send signals to me. You see, being so high up, they hear all sorts of things, from here all the way to Wall Street. They know everything.

At this point, that guy will either freak out or know a bullshitter when he sees one and leaves you alone.

Scenario #5
ASP: Hi Miss! Do you have a credit card?
Me: Oh sorry, I'm still schooling now...
ASP: Oh, where are you studying?
Me: I'm currently studying Medicine in England. I had just came back for a short break.
ASP: Oh that's interesting. Which university in England is that?
Me (pretends to act shy): Erm...Cambridge...
ASP: WOW you must be a top scorer in your previous schools then!
Me: Well...I was only two points short from being the top scorer of my year for my PSLE and 5th in my cohort when I was in RJC...
ASP: What a coincidence! My cousin graduated from RJC just 2 years back. Maybe she would know you! What's your name? Which class were you from?
Me: OMG I see my old primary school friend! So sorry, gotta go!

See? Easy-peasy. When life throws an annoying lemon in your path, just smile and make lemonade out of it.

Excuse me while I turn into Mr Hyde for the next few days

2010-11-17T00:04:00.002+08:00

I woke up with a dark cloud over my head that day. Grumpy and sore with the world, I oozed around the house in a slime of gloom and crabbiness, spreading my crankiness to every corner, every nook and cranny.

I oozed irritably to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There's something about being in a bad mood that always makes me hungry. But unfortunately the fridge had nothing to offer me. I could feel it trembling in fright as I scanned the rows of vegetables and meat and unappetizing leftovers. It sent a silent prayer and waited in trepidation for its verdict.

I frowned at the inside of the fridge. Of all days for it to be most unsatisfactorily stocked. I was just about to ~~kick the fridge~~ close the door when I spotted a piece of chiffon pandan cake tucked away in one corner. Huh. It wasn't exactly what I wanted but I guess it beats nothing.

As I oozed away, munching grumpily on the piece of cake, I heard the fridge heave a sigh of relief.

*

If the above sounds familiar, then you should know what I'm talking about.

Yes, that time of the month when I start displaying Particularly Mean Symptoms. When I'm Petty, Malevolent and Surly, and make Peevish, Malicious and Snappy remarks. If you meet me on any of these days, you better Prance, Melt or Slink away real quick. Because if you so much as make one stupid remark, I'm going to Punch, Mug then Sock you.

The only difference between us? I don't need to turn green to tear you apart.

If I were a 19th century artist living in France, I would channel all my rage and anger onto my canvas, call it abstract art and have people rave about it generations later.

Tell me you understand that

Random passer-by: Oooooh monsieur, prrray tell, what eez zat??
Me: Eeez's abstrrrract arrrrt, darrrling. Ooooh la la!! Look at zee anger!! Zee sorrow!!

(Disclaimer: ALRIGHT I don't know the first thing about art or French so forgive me for bullshitting and I sincerely apologize to the artist of this piece. But if you ask me what I see in this artwork, I would say a squid probably crawled onto the canvas and got smacked to death by the artist's dictionary. Such is the extent of my artistic knowledge)

If I were a composer, I would transfer all my pent-up angst into my compositions. Who knows, all that grief and pain might turn it into one of the most popular and most often played symphonies in the world like Beethoven's Symphony No.5 in C Minor.

But alas, not having been blessed with a multitude of artistic cells in my body, I can do neither. And Singapore isn't exactly the most fertile grounds for any form of artistic inspiration to mate and blossom. I hardly think I can stand at Orchard Road and expect to get hit by one of those inspirations floating around.

Sigh. Life is so unfair.

So when people make stupid comments, I can only resort to making sarcastic remarks because chances are, they are too dumb to realize that they are actually getting snubbed. They are lucky if I'm too grumpy to think of retorts, like that new girl who came only recently.

Most unfortunately, she came at a time when I was feeling pissy almost the whole time. I was torn between doing the socially-correct "show her around" routine and bringing her to lunch, and wallowing in my own grouchiness.

In the end, I decided to give her a chance and had lunch with her. Her name is Selina, by the way. I'm not sure if that's the correct spelling, but I think Selina with an "i" looks more annoying so I shall leave it as that.

So anyway, on her second day, she was complaining about how boring her first day was, doing nothing but filing the whole day, and I was sympathizing with her and all because that was what happened on my first day too. Then she went on to say how she wanted to surf the Internet but doesn't really dare to do so.

I don't know what prompted me to say that, but I told her I surfed all the time and I don't give a furry rat's ass since I'm leaving soon anyway.

The next day, she said to me, "You know, I asked Eileen (another senior) today whether I can surf the Net during office hours. She said, since I just joined, better not. You different ma, you been here a long time already and you are leaving soon. Right?"

I swear, that was my exact facial expression, except she didn't see it because she was looking straight ahead.

Wait....whaaaaaaat? First things first, who on earth goes around asking their senior if they can surf the Internet during office hours? For god's sake, these are things you do on the sly, at the risk of your own head. You don't bloody go and ask your senior for permission to play while you are supposed to be working!

That's like telling your boss you don't feel like getting out of bed this morning, is it ok if you get an MC? Jesus, of course you don't do that! You just go straight to the doctor and invent all sorts of non-existent ailments which they can't check to verify whether or not you are telling the truth, THEN you tell your boss.

I'm just curious, what did she expect the senior's answer to be? "Oh sure, go ahead, knock yourself out"? Good grief. She must be dumber than she looks.

It wasn't until much later, then the naggy little voice at the back of mind made itself heard:

Has she been talking about me to her senior?

I fully do not appreciate it if she has been including "But MH is doing it too!" in her conversations with her seniors. Hey, I may be leaving soon and I may not give a damn but that doesn't mean I want a spotlight shining on my activities.

Anyway, back to that day.

Because of my many food allergies, I have to be very careful with what I eat, hence it's often the same, limited choices whenever I eat out. Most of the time, I just settled for rice and vegetables. So SELINA with an "I" took one look at my meal and gasped,"WAH! You eat so little only ah?!"

I don't feel like explaining my problems to a dimwit so I just shrugged and mumbled something along the line about how I'm not really hungry.

But she refused to let it go. "I saw just now hor, got a lot of veggies and meat ma. You picky eater is it?"

That little comment got me super annoyed. I HATE IT when people whom I don't know well judge me. Plus I'm already feeling bad-tempered enough.

Unfortunately it's lunch hour so it's not like I can pretend my plate slipped out of my hands and landed on her head. Either she's lucky or she knows to choose a spot to annoy people.

I'm like a landmine around stupid, irritating people. Step on my toes and I will blow up in their faces. If they know what's good for them, they would maintain a minimum 100 metres radius around me. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Letters I never got around to posting (2)

2010-11-15T23:08:00.002+08:00

November 13, 2010

Ms N. Tan
Title: Er....just one level above mine?
ABC Company
DEF Lane Blk U #06-66
Singapore 654321

(Company name & address changed to protect myself, of course)

Dear Ms N.Tan

Subject: Bugger off and leave me alone

Alright, since you are not as bad as SOME people, someone whose initials start with G and whose surname is Lee, I shall ease off a bit on the mockery. Make no mistakes, you ARE still pretty annoying sometimes.

Particularly how you love to sneak up on me, as though you are some ninja, hoping to catch me doing something "illegal" (in this case, that would be surfing other websites when I'm supposed to be *yawn* entering data).

Come on gimme a break! Do you want me to go nuts if I can't even take the occasional short break without you breathing down my neck? PISS OFF WOMAN.

Well, that was back then, of course. Because months of sitting next to you have wisened me to your little...shall we say, ways? What, you think I wouldn't have figured your daily routine by now? Look, let me list it out for you:

9.05 - 9.10am: You come into the office, put down your bag, organize your desk

9.11am: You go off into the pantry to ~~stuff biscuits down your shirt, which explains why your chest sticks out so much~~ er....refill your bottle (I think)

9.12am: You slip off to the stairway at the back of the office for a smoke. And that usually takes a good 2 or 3 minutes.

So you see, you aren't exactly unpredictable. Once you settle down at your desk, I know I have 5minutes, give or take, to do my last Internet surfing.

Because I know you. You are simply dying to catch me in the act. And you are dangerous too, since you are the only person who doesn't make a sound when you approach. Other people will shuffle or drag their feet when they walk, or their slippers will slap against the soles of their feet when walking around.
But you always weak loafers to work and your slippers are made of rubber, which basically offers no sound and hence no warning, when you ~~sneak~~ walk up to me.

But unfortunately for you, I'm smarter and more alert than you think. I know that once you get up after at least 1hour of sitting at your desk, you are most probably going for a smoke, which gives me around 3minutes of freedom. But if you get up less than 1hour of sitting there, then you are most likely just going to photocopy documents and I would be stupid to go on to other websites.

That's right. I'm onto you, woman.

Just one question, though...are you really that free, to keep checking on me and making sure I don't slack off ~~too much~~ at all? Because you know, there really is no reason for you to spring an ambush on me like that. In the toilet. When I have already told you I have completed all my tasks.

What, is there no such thing as personal time and space anymore? Hey, what I do in the toilet is MY business (no pun intended) so sod off. I can't help it if I have active bowel movements, or if I ate something bad that morning, right?

Furthermore, last I checked, there is NOTHING in the company rules that prohibit frequent trips to the toilet or long periods spent in there. I hardly think you went to the toilet to check whether I have collapsed and bonked my head against the toilet bowl. And anyway, I have finished everything, what do you want me to do, since I can't use the Internet at my own free will? Stare blankly into space? You are just pushing me faster towards the path of Alzheimer's and early dementia.

(Note to self: next time just STAY in the bloody cubicle)

And also, don't you think it's unfair of you to sneak up and ambush me when I'm at my most vulnerable (I had just emerged from the cubicle!) and when I least expected it? You know I can't see around corners. That's an advantage you have over me already. Couldn't you at least given me some fair warning in advance?

(Note to self: STAY IN THE FRIGGING CUBICLE)

I don't see people jumping out on you when you go off to smoke so what gives you the right to do that to me? Hey, if you are allowed to take a break once in awhile, I should be allowed too. I'm being paid peanuts, doing the most BORING work imaginable, and now you want to take away my freedom too? What is this tyranny? Where is my lawyer? I DEMAND MY RIGHTS TOO!

I tell you, the day I get paid based on my market value, I swear I will glue myself to my seat and turn a blind eye to all the blogs and Facebook during office hours.

But until then...dream on.

P.S. I'm warning you, the next time you try to ambush me in the toilet again, don't blame me for tasering or pepper-spraying you in the face. I can always say I did it in self-defense.

Piss off and leave me alone

MH

Soon-to-be ex temp staff (Whoooopieeeeee!!)

Letters I never got around to posting

2010-11-12T00:28:00.006+08:00

November 10, 2010

Mdm G. Lee
Title: (Who cares? You still act like a bitch)
ABC Company
DEF Lane Blk U #06-66
Singapore 654321
(Company name & address changed to protect...well, me)

Dear Mdm G. Lee

Subject: You suck to the core

Firstly, congratulations on your recent promotion. I must admit, I never expected that, seeing as what a total bitch you are. That is why I find your promotion such an intriguing mystery. I scratched my head and pondered over it and really can't see any reason that deems you worthy of a promotion.

What? Don't tell me you are baffled already? Come on, you can't be all that clueless...oh wait a minute, I guess you are, judging from the fact that your EQ is probably the same as your shoe size. Alright then *sighs heavily* allow me to list out all the possible reasons I have thought out. This may come as a shock to you so take a seat and be prepared to be enlightened. You might want to put 999 on speed-dial just in case you suffer an ACUTE MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION. Yeah, I purposely put a big word there just to mess with your head but whatever:

1) Your people skills

Or rather, lack of it.

I firmly believe that a true measurement of a person's character can be derived from the way he/ she treats EVERYBODY. Not just their bosses and peers. I'm talking about those in the lower social hierarchy too - that old lady who cleans the bathroom, the Indian worker who clears up all our finished plates in the hawker centre.

And based on what I witnessed for myself, and what I have heard, your people skills pretty much sucked. That's right, I notice and hear a whole lot more things that the idiot who decided you are worthy of a promotion.

I have heard stories about how rude and arrogant you are to the lower-level workers in the office, particularly those aunties working in the production line. The snooty way when you talk to them, the way you just throw ( and I don't mean that metaphorically) work at them to do. Sometimes, the work you gave them is incomplete and THEY ended up being the ones scolded.

But did you ever once stand up and admit that it's partly your fault? Good Heavens, what was I thinking? Of course not, your ass is so much bigger ( I don't mean that metaphorically too) and worth much more than those fifty-plus year-olds', right?

I can relate because you didn't treat me any differently too. The many times when you, too, just threw things on my table for me to do, as though you are some big-shot. And when I inform you of things, you don't bother acknowledging me, hence making me feel like the world's biggest fool as I stand there, waiting for you to reply.

What's up with that, bitch? Come on, do you seriously think I'm just going to continue doing admin stuff for the rest of my life? Please, I'm just waiting to get into university, where I'm likely to come out with a certificate that's worth much more than yours, which is only what, a Diploma? (THANK YOU FACEBOOK) YOU are nearly twice my age and YOU are the one who's stuck doing boring data entry day after day *snigger*. Look who's pigeonholed now?

Be careful whom you treat, bitch. Some day, I just might come back and rub my Masters Degree and $10,000 monthly paycheck in your fat face. Let's see if that will make you grovel (actually, I think you might).

VERDICT: FAILED

2) Your language skills

BWAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!

Oh man, I swear, I am this close to wetting myself with laughter.

Really, the person who decided to hire you into this Customer Service Department really owes me an explanation. I mean, anybody who has heard you liasing with clients on the phone, be it in Mandarin or English, will know that you are proficient in neither. And I'm talking about clients from China, Shanghai, to Europe.

It makes me cringe just to hear you speaking in that jarring Singlish accent. You know, those kind that is pretty much flat and monotonous throughout, like how those old aunties will bargain for fish in the market. And what makes it even more annoying, is that your voice blares out across the office, going on and on in that loud, obnoxious way you have. Several times, I go into spasms which only stop when you put down the phone, hence the reason why I sometimes can't finish my work in time.

For the love of God, please DON'T put on an accent just because you are talking to somebody from China. It's f*#$king annoying and it's not even that prim and proper Beijing slang (which I doubt you can pull off anyway). It's a frigging Hong Kong accent. You know, the way the pitch sort of dips down when you come to the second syllable of the word? The way the Hong Kongers pronounce "Daddy" and "sorry"?

If I were the China guy on the other line, I would laugh my backside off.

I can still remember that time a British guy from the UK office branch came over to our office. When he's getting ready to leave, everybody went over and bade him farewell. And then you stood up, simpering like an idiot, extended your hand and said

"I wish you have a pleasant journey."

You know, if you close your eyes and listen really really hard, you might just hear your English teacher sobbing.

I wish you have a pleasant journey? What is this, a Hallmark card greeting gone wrong? Or did you translate that word-for-word from Chinese? Next time, just a simple "Have a pleasant journey!" or "Take care!" or, if you want to act elegant and refined, (*snort*) "Bon voyage", will do fine.

On second thoughts, maybe it's better if you just keep your mouth shut.

VERDICT: FAILED

3) Your productivity level

YEAH RIGHT.

Guess whose work I have to help with, after my superior said they needed help and we came to a compromise that I should work half-day? And guess who was it who apparently "needs help with her work"?

(For goodness sake, will it KILL you to keep those purchase orders back into the file right after you have taken them out? What's it going to take, 3 seconds to put it back? Or are you afraid that you will just over-exert yourself? Lifting your hand, clicking open the binder, slipping the purchase order in, then clicking it shut again? My, I think I can already see you panting at that mere thought.)

Let's face it. Without me helping you AND doing all your shitwork, clearing up after you, you are as good as gone. I would have long gone if
a) the superior hadn't asked me to stay
b) if I had been hard-hearted enough
c) if I can find a job which allows me to take time off for my driving lessons, which is my first priority as of now

VERDICT: FAILED

4) Your ability to kiss some serious superior ass

BINGO!

P.S. By the way, out of the kindness of my heart, let me dispense a bit of friendly dressing advice to you.

Generally, if you are not slim, slender or svelte, it is highly discouraged that you wear tight-fitting clothes. I don't know which planet you are from, but I can say with some certainty that MOST people here don't enjoy seeing fats bulging out from under the arms and around the waist. It's not exactly appetizing, you know? Particularly after lunch, where my half-digested food will threaten to defy gravity and rise back up my gullet to my mouth.

Oh sure, I know what they say about black making people look slimmer yadda yadda, but a figure-hugging black top just like the one you wore the other day, blew the illusion right out the window. You have no idea how much I have to control my smirk when I see that layers of fats around your waist folding over each other when you walk past my desk (and causing an eclipse on the way).

I don't care if you think that wearing clothes you like, even if they present your body in the MOST unflattering way possible, is a sign of your self-confidence. To me, it's an eyesore, a social faux pas, and proves to me that you are highly delusional. If you don't have it, DON'T flaunt it.

Oh, and that long flowery skirt you love to wear? LOSE IT. I have no idea what it does to your butt, but you look even more like a water barrel in that. God, do you even have a mirror at home?

That's all. May you continue stuffing your face with ~~oily char kway tiao and laksa and mee goreng~~ grains and legumes!

Can't wait to see you fall flat on your face one day

MH

Soon-to-be-ex temp staff (Hallelujah!)

All hail the mighty powers of Procrastination!

2010-11-04T17:01:00.005+08:00

I had always thought I was the master of procrastination. When I was young, whenever I bought a book from my favourite author, I could take up to 3 weeks just to finish reading that thin paperback. I restricted myself to only 1 chapter per day, trying my best to make it last as long as possible.

I also took ages to finish my meal, particularly if it had my favourite dish. My mom used to say I eat like a bird, pecking here and there. I savour every single bite, every single morsel of food, wishing that my portion would just keep refilling itself.

So anyway, that was all back then. I no longer put that skill I was blessed with to use anymore. But more recently, when I called upon it while in the office (that would be a story for another day), I realized with horror that somehow, somewhere along the way, unbeknownst to me, my skill had left me.

So today, I was taking my time with my work. Most unfortunately, there wasn't a lot to be done today and I was fast becoming desperate when I see my stack of data decreasing. I was already doing it reallyyyy slowwwwly. I was checking everything 10 times over but I was no longer as good at dilly-dallying as I was back then. And the work is already, in its nature, boring as hell. If I did it any more slowly, I would have fallen asleep. And that's not something I'm comfortable with, because sleeping without my head drooping is something I have yet to master.

You see, you remember that senior I once mentioned that I despised? Well, she had tasked me to do some of the MOST boring data input thingy ever. It is so boring that I thank god for not putting me beside the window, otherwise I might just jump out of it.

Of course I was pissed. I don't know if she did it on purpose or what. And technically, I'm not obliged to do it. I am not under her anymore so who does she think she is? Stupid fat woman who covers my world in darkness whenever she passes by my desk.

Stupid woman.

So there I was, a super disgruntled girl because I fully refuse to do any of her work, only I'm not sure the manager will be on my side if this matter is brought up. Well it's her own fault! If she had treated me with kindness and respect, I would have willingly done it for her.

If you smile at me, I would laugh with you. If you poke me, I would bite you.

Well, I thought at last. It seems like there's only one thing to do.

Oh powers of the Mighty Procrastination. I call upon thee to fulfil your sole purpose and unleash your force within me!

I sighed and glanced at the time on my computer screen. It had gotta be at least half an hour. I mean, I couldn't have been that fast. I still have faith that my skills aren't all that gone yet. It can't be. I mean, aren't these things supposed to stay with you for life? Sure, it may be a bit rusty but nothing a little good polishing won't do. Anyway, I started at 9.30 am and the time is....

9.40am

That can't be right. I checked my handphone time. 9.42am, the time winked merrily at me.

What? What gives? Is time turning backwards without me knowing? I eyed both timings suspiciously.

But no, the fact lies there. I had indeed somehow lost my skill to dawdle. I dropped my head in my hands. What am I going to do? It's not even halfway through the morning and I'm already running out of excuses not to do HER work.

I was ready to give up when the mental image of HER arrogant face suddenly came to my mind. And all of a sudden, I was filled with a resolve. No way am I going down without a fight. Nuh-uh. What was it that Thomas Edison once said? Something about if we did all that we are capable of doing, we would astound ourselves.

Huh. I marshalled in that thought for awhile. Right. Let's see then. If I can't procrastinate, the next best thing to do would be to hide. The pantry? Nah it's in the office, anybody could just walk right in and bust me. The staircase? Nah it's too hot and stuffy there. I just might melt.

So that leaves only the toilet. Fortunately, the toilet is outside the office and relatively clean, with an air freshener. It's pretty foolproof by the way. After all, who can argue with a stomachache? I might have to act a bit woozy and green when I come back which should be no mean feat.

So I finished my stack of work. All's that left is to photocopy a few documents and I'm outta here. I grabbed the few sheets of documents and headed to the photocopy machine. While standing at the machine, my mind drifted off. Maybe I can even hide my book or magazine under my cardigan and have a nice long read in the cubicle. Generally, if anybody is in the toilet, people would just leave you alone. Perfect! It would just be like my idea of -

*Beep beep*

I glanced down at the photocopying machine, a bit annoyed at having my train of thoughts disrupted. The green power light was blinking. TRAY 3 OUT OF PAPER flashed out at me on the screen.

Hallelujah! The machine is out of paper! (I think I will pretend not to notice that Tray 2 is still full of paper)

Well, what do you expect me to do? Obviously I can't be so selfish as to leave it like that right? What if the next person needs to print something urgently?

So I ~~happily~~ ~~slowly~~ quickly walked to the storage room and ~~lingered awhile, looking at irrelevant stuff~~ found the stack of printing papers and bought it back to the photocopy machine.

Well, well. Seems like I have grossly underestimated the capacity of the tray. What if the next person needs to print a shitload of documents?

So I made my way back to the storage room, telling myself ~~to kiss the photocopy machine next time~~ ~~polish the machine~~ ~~ah screw it~~ that I should take ~~less~~ more than the amount I took just now so that I don't have to keep running to and fro.

But alas, my estimation has never been good. And just like that, I made two, I mean three.....oh alright, four trips back and forth. And just like that *snaps fingers* I wasted almost 15minutes!

When I ~~simply cannot find any other reasons to dilly dally~~ am done loading in the papers, I went back to my desk. Well, who should greet me but a new stack of documents for data input and filing! Tralala~ I don't have to hide in the toilet anymore AND I have an excuse not to do HER work! I'm so sorry I couldn't do your work but I have A LOT of filing to do. It just might take me until next week:(

Even if I should be able to complete by Monday, I will make sure I drag it out until at least Wednesday.

Never have I been so glad to see filing that needs to be done. Anyway, I don't mind doing it because I'm on OK terms with the colleague who gave me the filing to do. You see? See what a little kindness can make me do?

Lesson learnt: when my own procrastination powers failed, the Mighty Powers of Procrastination refused to abandon me. I mean, based on the number of hours I have frittered away as a child, I must have been one hell of a devoted disciple. So if all things fail, just wait for them to extend a helping hand.

*Sends a silent prayer of thanks*

I am, indeed, the master of procrastination;)

HAPPY DEEPAVALI EVERYBODY!!

You know you are getting older when....

2010-11-02T00:08:00.000+08:00

1) You find that you no longer cast a second glance at boys in school uniforms with long pants, however cute they are.
Me: 5 years ago, those boys would have sent my heart into a little tizzy:)

2) You no longer need to check the ratings of movies to see if they are rated NC16 or M18.
Me: R21 movies are another matter, though

3) Your EZ-link card no longer has a hideous photo of you, the one in which either:
   a) your hair took on a life of its own,
    b) your cheeks seem even fuller than usual, making you look like a hamster, or
    c) your eyes were half-closed

Yup. That picture. The one that is enough to make you cringe and can't wait for the day when you can burn it. Woe be you if you should become famous one day and that picture somehow landed in the hands of paparrazi, who would then proceed to blow it up in an article titled "THEY ARE ALWAYS NOT THAT GORGEOUS" or, God forbid, "DID THEY HAVE WORK DONE?"

Me: What is with cameras anyway? I swear, it's like they have a personal vendetta against me:(

4) You find that parents on the streets with their little kids in tow seem to be getting younger....
Me: I find it more reassuring to think that way instead of, you know, the one about myself

5) You are able to say "My friend gave me a lift home today"
Me: In the past, the only people I knew who could drive are my uncles and father.

6) Your male friends, whom you have known since they were these skinny guys with glasses and nerdy hair-dos and wearing the school uniform shorts (*snrks* HAHAHAHHA) are now almost done with NS
Me: Ahhh 18 years old ~ that magical age which at that time, seems as though it will never come. After all that's almost like,well you know, an adult

7) The fact that there is a $50 bill in your wallet no longer makes you nervous and jumpy and suspicious of anybody who walks too close to you
Me: What? You would be paranoid too if all that used to be in your wallet is at most $10, together with a few coins

8) You find it one of life's greatest mysteries why kids deem it suitable to fold little stars and put it into a jar with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" emblazoned cheerfully over it and give it to their friends as birthday gifts
Me: Ditto for those small pillows which look good only for....gee, I don't know, your handphone to rest on? Confession: I was once guilty of those gifts too. Thinking back, all I can think of is huh? What was I thinking? Did I hate these people or what?

9) Animorphs? Goosebumps? Sweet Valley Twins? Where are you guys???
Me: I find it saddening and disconcerting that when I stepped into a bookstore, all I could find under the section for kids are princessy books, Harry Potter and (oh my god) Twilight. I swear, there used to be SO much more varieties of stories. What are you trying to do, Popular, limit the imagination of kids?

10) When you browsed through an old The Baby-Sitters' Club storybook and read the part about your old heroine being unable to watch a movie because it was rated PG-13, you actually laughed out loud
Me: It was like BWAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHA!! *wipes away tears of laughter*

11) When kids are with their parents, they call you "jie jie" after prompting by their parents. But once nobody is around to coach them on what to say, you are instantly upgraded to "auntie".
Me: *!%#^$#!!! What is with unsupervised kids anyway? They shouldn't be allowed to roam around by themselves!
Thinking back, this must be cosmic justice for all the times in my primary school, when I called that nice snack store lady "auntie", even though she couldn't have been more than 30 years old at that time. At that time, everybody who is older and working is considered "auntie" to me *voice trails off* Oh I seeee.....

12) You no longer need to lie about your age for anything. Nope, not on Facebook or online games account
Me: If my Friendster age were true, I would be....let's see, around 27 this year?

13) You are no longer intimated by the prices of meals in places such as New York New York or Billy Bombers
Me: I'm still waiting for the day when dishes costing $50 and above will no longer turn me into a jittery mess

14) Eating at fast-food restaurants seem more like a punishment than a treat
Me: Sorry mom, you can no longer use McDonald's as a bribe

And lastly...

15) When it suddenly hits you, like a ton of bricks, that you have no idea what to do with life.

It was especially scary when that happened to me. For a moment, I was frozen and like a darned fortune teller, I caught a glimpse of my future. Some day I will be working. Some day I will own a house and maybe a car and god dammit, I'd better learnt all about taxes and insurance and read more newspapers because I need to be more aware about politics and new government policies and...and...er, prices of oil or the stock market or housing prices or COE prices and if house prices are sky-high when I need to find a house, what will I do I mean I can't depend on my parents when I am, what, 35 right, and what if I can't find a flat that is conveniently-located or near my workplace then I will have to get up at 5am every morning just to beat the traffic crowd in MRTs because I don't have enough money to buy a stupid car or even if I have a car, I will still need to get up early to avoid paying for those ERP prices I mean who doesn't envision those dollar signs flying out of their wallet every time they pass through an ERP gantry, and and... *hyperventilates*

You get the picture.

Alright, I was exaggerating previously. I don't think that far ahead. I was thinking more along the line about what course to take and which uni to go to. I realized that whichever degree I decided to take is going to affect or influence my future career to a certain extent. And I don't want to screw myself up and end up wasting 3 years of my life.

So that is why I'm now taking it slowly, trying out different things, becoming more wise in the ways of the world and the people and hopefully along the way, I will be able to find a niche for myself.

Another reason I'm putting off university is because I don't want to rush myself into things. After nearly 15 years of continuous studying and schooling, I want to take a step back and appreciate the things I have. Do and learn things I have always wanted to. Give them a try. I don't want to burn myself out and in future, look back with regret that I did not give myself the opportunity to have fun and learn, experience things I have always wanted to.

Because as we grow older, we are expected to do the responsible thing and get a job. If we were to take a step back and try different things then, explore our childhood interests and aspirations, we would be deemed "irresponsible" and "immature" and our parents would worry that all the money and time spent on our certificates will be money down the drain.

So nowadays, I take out the occassional Roald Dahl or Sweet Valley Twins to read, stroll down to the little shop which still sells its biscuits in metal tins, buy 100g of those little gem biscuits and lick the icing on the way. Sometimes I stop by NTUC to buy Honey Stars. And when I'm back home, I enjoy listening to Savage Garden or Britney Spears. Sometimes for memory's sake, I switch on the radio and tune in to 987FM.

Forgive the cliche, but life really is too short. So I'm going to enjoy it while I still can, before I officially enter the workforce and all the adulthood stress finally catches up with me. But until then, I'm going to take a trip down memory lane once in a while.

It takes skills and practice to lie convincingly, you know

2010-10-29T23:32:00.007+08:00

Before I say anything else, I just wanna thank two of my best friends, Ben and Yuen, for keeping me company for my birthday:) It's great hanging out with you two idiots, laughing at all your stupid jokes and watching "The Town". I had so much fun that day and I'm really gonna miss you guys when you both go for NS...

*

I let myself loose on my birthday. I finally uncaged the shopaholic in me and went on a shopping spree around Tampines and Bugis. So much so, that when I neared my house, the guilt in me was piling up and almost taking over the sugar high I had when I was shopping.

Almost, but not quite.

When I entered my house, I had already decided on how to behave to avoid any unneceesary questions from my mom. The thing is to be normal, like I was returning home from work. Normal normal normal. Did something happen? Nahhhhh *psshkt*

Because I know my mom - she has a nose like a bloodhound that can sniff out guilt or hesitations a mile away. Either that, or she has a Mom-Radar which beeps like crazy every time it detects any of us behaving shiftily.

So I closed the door, kicked off my shoes and called out, "HI MOM!" and proceeded to walk back to my room. Nice and slowwww. That's it. Thaaaat's it. See? I'm not guilty. Nope. Not guilty at....

"What did you buy?" To my dismay, my mom followed me into my room.

Dang. I was hoping Facebook would keep her attention focused enough to let me hide some of the shopping bags (Yep you didn't misread - my mother IS on Facebook).

Ok, think quick. She doesn't have that little frowny crease in between her eyebrows. Which means she isn't in a bad mood and which means I can easily talk her over using a little light laughter and soft coaxing. Right.

"Just a little purchase!" I smiled brightly.

She sat on my bed and pulled out a pair of jeans. "Jeans? The weather is so hot, you still went and bought jeans?"

"They were on sale!" Oooops wrong tone. The important thing is not to sound defensive as this will make it even more difficult to sweet-talk her over. "Anyway, I bought it together with that skirt and they don't cost a lot, really."

I so know where this is going.

"How much were they?" My mom held up the jeans and scrutinized them carefully. I'm guessing she's looking for any tell-tale sign that those jeans "don't cost a lot, really".

If I have a dollar for every time I got that right.

"Around forty plus," I said smoothly.

Actually it's more like fifty....never mind.

The thing with my mom is, there really is no point in telling her the truth when it comes to my shopping. Because I know the Worrier in her pretty well by now.

Ah, the Worrier. Where do we start?

The Worrier is that package deal that comes with having children. She worries about everything regarding her children, from whether you have had your meals, whether your new colleagues are treating you fine, why is it that you are still not home by 11pm, you have to work tomorrow, what the hell are you thinking? We all love her to bits and know she has our best interests at heart but you gotta admit, it gets a bit frustrating at times.

The important thing is hence, to pacify her and not let slip any unneccesary comments that are likely to spark off a whole avalanche of endless worries and questioning. Yup, honesty is really not the best policy here.

So I know for my mom, a little part of that Worrier in her would die if she finds out how much I have spent, and then become convinced that her daughter would grow up to be a mindless consumer, lusting after and spending all my hard-earned thousands on Manola Blahniks and Hermes handbags and eventually dying alone and penniless by the ditch, if she doesn't do anything to curb that evil consumerism behaviour I'm currently displaying. Nip it in the bud before it's too late!

Thus, I have devised a few ways to avoid that Worrier. And technically, it's not called lying. It's just a beautiful, sweet little white lie:

1) Gloss it over
If you have bought something that costs around, say, $49, you ROUND DOWN. Just shrug, pretend you can't really remember the exact price. "I think around....forty-plus?" You pretend to hazard a guess. As though it's so cheap, it's insignificant and you can't be bothered remembering.

Technically, there's nothing wrong with saying that. $49 is still considered forty-plus, so stop being so bloody anal.

2) If your mom tries to guess the price, just go ahead with her answer
If you bought something for $40 and your mom says, "How much did that cost? $30?" Just smile brightly and nod fervently. Pretend to be super amazed and throw in a little compliment along the way. "Wow, Mom! You are so smart! How did you know?" Yep, nothing like a little ass-kissing to soften your mother up.

Although I'm not sure you should be happy if your mom thought that bag you bought for $40 looks like something bought from the pasar malem. You might want to reconsider bringing that bag out in future.

3) Focus on the eye-pleasing aesthetics of purchase
If you know there's no way in hell your mother would believe it if you "gloss over the price", just go straight to praising your purchase as though it's a world-renowned piece of installation art or the greatest thing to grace the world ever since.....well, you fill in that yourself.

Wax lyrical over said purchase and perhaps throw in a little along the line about how "it's the latest look" and that "everybody in Italy/ France is wearing it". It would probably be good as well to mention about how you have read about it in Elle or Vogue magazine. If you are absolutely certain your mother has never picked up a single fashion magazine, nor is she an avid Project Runway fan, I don't see why this method won't work. Remember, your mother was once a little girl too and she will understand the importance of looking good and fashionable (OK honestly, I have no idea if that's true or not, I'm just going with the odds).

Of course, it all depends on your persuasion skills and Mother's Current Mood. Otherwise, you can lie until your pants catch on fire and your mom still won't believe you.

4) Pretend this is a one-off situation
Reassure your mom that you have purchased enough to last you for the rest of the year, and that you probably won't need to buy anything else, even if you know that's not true. Even if you know that once you see the word "SALE" screaming from a shop window or online shop, your legs or fingers will turn on auto-pilot mode and bring you straight to that shop or website. In any case, inject a little pathetic tone and say something like "it's been ages since I last bought anything".

My sis uses that a lot. Unfortunately for us, our mom has a mind like a steel-trap and can always remember what we have bought. She will know which is new and which has just been folded in our cupboards for a long time. I have no idea how she does that. Must be some Mom thing she picked up with having 2 growing girls in the family.

So anyway, I guess my mom cut me some slack that day, since it is my birthday after all. And also because she knows I'm a responsible girl who can be trusted to handle her own finances well:) So everything's fine and dandy that day.

That is, until the next time I update my bankbook. God, I hate doing that. I just know those black little prints are going to depress me. So what I will do is, I will update my bankbook only at the beginning of each month, when I am absolutely certain my salary has been banked it.

So that even if the many tiny black figures pull my spirits lower and lower into the abysmal depths of my stomach, I know that once I see the abbreviations "SAL", along with the amount next to it, my world would be parting rainbows again.

In my world, a little self-denial goes a long way in ensuring my happiness

I can FEEL you mocking me, Dictionary.com

2010-10-28T22:27:00.002+08:00

So I was reading a really great blog and I came across this word:

RECONNAISSANCE

Not liking the thought of reading on without first knowing what that word means, I went on to Dictionary.com to find out the meaning. And this is what I got:

Excuse me? I asked for "reconnaissance" and you gave me "the act of reconnoitering"? WTF? I asked for an explanation, not the....verb or whatever of "reconnaissance". That's like....me asking what is 2+2 and you happily tell me it's 5-1. And now I have to type in "reconnoitering" to find out what "reconnaissance" means. Sheeeeeesh.

I gave the monitor screen a very very sour look. Fine, Dictionary.com, if you wanna play, I will play along with you. I cast a look around my table for ideas on stupid words to input into the search engine. Ah-ha! A sticker. I typed "sticker" into the search engine:

Wait, what? A person or thing that sticks? So does that mean a sticker is "a person" or "a person that sticks"? Either way, it doesn't make much sense.

I frown at the computer screen. I'm starting to think that the team behind Dictionary.com are all a bunch of young, baby-faced interns who can't be half-assed about the accuracy of the meanings. Probably figuring nobody in their right mind would look up such moronic words (heyyyyyy.......)

All right, Dictionary.com, let me give you one more chance. How about..."computer"? I typed that in too and got:

PUH-LEEZE. I think it's already saying a lot about how stupid I am if I don't even know what is a computer. And you throw in a bunch of cheem descriptions and alternative names for a computer, how am I supposed to get that? You might as well say "YOU ARE USING ONE, DUMBASS".

Very funny, Dictionary.com. What next? Let me see one last time how annoying you can really get:

SIGH.

If you ask me, I think the dudes over at Dictionary.com are just plain lazy.

As far as first impressions go...

2010-10-20T23:59:00.004+08:00

Yours was perfect.

I could still remember the first time I laid eyes on you. You were the epitome of class and grace, looking très chic in navy blue with streaks of black and white. Many who do not know you well would have disregarded you as a quiet, unassuming character, but I know you are so much more than that.

Because once I got to know you better, you brought life to me. You were so full of fun and opened up a whole new world of possibilites, always finding a way to make me smile and enjoy myself.

You were always there for me when I needed help to vent my frustrations, curb my cravings, or just to get rid of boredom. You gave me so many new ideas and options to try out new things, to test my boundaries and experiment with things I never thought I would one day do. With your help, I walked away taller, a new and more confident person.

Whenever I felt desperate or trapped, you were there too, stretching out a hand to pull me on to safer grounds. With you around, I have always felt safe - like nothing bad or embarrassing could ever happen to me.

While you have been the ultimate best friend to me, I'm ashamed to say that I have not exactly been returning the favour. Sometimes, I neglect you for days. I'm also ashamed to admit that most of the time, I have been using you only when I need help. For example, that time when we went out together and I needed to buy that gorgeous heels from Charles & Keith.

There it was, the Alessandra Ambrosio of all heels (to me). It was love at first sight. I gazed and lusted after it, envisioning little hands reaching out to it. I debated for a while, then came to a decision - I had to have it.

I opened my wallet and instantly, my heart dropped a million miles into the depths of my stomach.

For there were only two $10 bills, smiling and waving happily at me.

Whaaaaaat?? Is this some kind of a sick joke? I couldn't even buy one heel with that money.

My eager smile slid off my face and my exuberance at owning such an elegant pair of shoes vanished like something David Copperfied could do. Numbness and disappointment settled in to take its place. I dug frantically through my wallet but instead, all I got was a fistful of receipts.

Suddenly, you were by my side. When you had appeared, I had no idea.

"Fret not," you purr, in that tinkling voice you have, much like the sounds of windchimes. "I'm here, just go ahead and buy that. I've got it covered."

And just like that, I walked away clutching my Charles & Keith carrier bag, happy as a kid on his birthday, owning the most droolworthy pair of shoes (I really must get around to finding those heels some day).

With you, it's always about giving. You gave me the chance to try out new things and create a whole new image for myself. You were always by my side when I needed to make difficult decisions. Should I get those?? But it's a bit on the expensive side. What should I do??

You never once complained when I asked for your opinion. With your help, the choices and options suddenly seem much clearer and easier and more often than not, I went home bubbly and excited. You even got me clothes from online shops, some all the way from the US! You know that's something I could never do without your help.

And when I'm with you, I know I never need to be afraid, even though I only have $2 in my wallet. Cos you would always make sure that I have enough to make me happy and satisfied and send me safely all the way back home.

As our friendship nears its 3rd-year mark, I'm happy to say that we are still going strong. And I'm going to make use of this opportunity to show my appreciation for you.

I love you, my ATM card.

We have went through thick and thin together, with you staying patiently in my wallet and waiting to be called upon to deliver pearls of wisdom or solve any difficult shopping dilemma (in other words, lack of cash on me). I do not need to fear embarrassing scenarios where I am unable to pay for my purchases for you would always be there. And you would always help make sure that I get whatever I wanted, be it those glamourous heels or that gorgeous top at VS or that charming little necklace.

I truly appreciate you, ATM card, and I give you my word that I will keep our friendship going on and stronger than ever*.

This shall be my last post before I hit 20:) And I did it!

*In the event that I get another mode of payment, say a credit card, this statement will thus be striked off and never to be mentioned again.

2010-10-20T13:59:00.000+08:00

Just a short short post for now.

The haze from Indonesia is absolutely killing me. I woke up this morning to a hazy sky and a growing headache, a sure indicator that this means HAZE HAZE HAZE. Yeah, the nerves and muscles in my head and neck are that sensitive, like some bloody bloodhound. Only instead of smells, they pick up on haze.

I suppose if I concentrate hard enough, I could pretend that it's just the beautiful morning mist that the city is slowly waking up to. But the heat just about killed any molecules of perseverance I have left.

It's not enough that we have to endure the heat, now add the haze? Come on, as if life isn't hard enough already.

*Grumble*

Damn Indonesia, for bringing us this sort of rubbish every time you guys get the sudden urge to burn your forests. Funny huh. At this rate you guys are going, isn't it about time that all the forests you have left are all burnt out?

Musings of a Chump

2010-10-18T23:38:00.009+08:00

If there ever was a medal for being a sap, I would get it.

I had originally wanted to quit my job by October because 1) it is too boring for words and 2)....

Actually, that's it. But I believe that reason alone is enough to justify my desire to leave that hell-hole. Hello, my sanity is at stake here!

Truth be told, it's actually not that bad. It's just that I'm not cut out to do routine, mundane stuff. I swear, if there ever was a Masters course for Extreme Organizational Filing, I would have gotten it.

So anyway, I fully had the intention to quit this job. But when I approached my supervisor, she revealed that they are pretty short-handed now and need extra help. So I took pity on them and we came to a compromise - I would work half-day until the colleague I'm covering for comes back from her maternity leave.

I was quite happy with this arrangement, since I have nothing much to do at home anyway. There's only so long you can sit in front of the computer before you turn into a potato. And by that, I don't mean a kentang. For goodness sake, what is with people who assume that I'm a freaking kentang just because I'm a hardcore fan of US shows? Geez, generalize much? Do that again and I will spew a bunch of cheeem Chinese proverbs to your face.

So anyway, for the next 2 weeks, I happily worked until 12.30pm, go home to nap awhile or catch up on shows, then go for my clinic night shifts. All was fine and dandy, until last Friday, when my supervisor hauled me into the meeting room.

Long story short, she requested that I go back to working full-time for these 2 weeks, as they are getting more short-handed. I have no idea why but I suspect their frequent breaks may be the cause.

At this moment, the Pushover and the Devil in me are having a heated argument in my head:

P: Awww come on, let's help them!

D (smirking gleefully): HAHAHAHAHA well well loooookie here. Now they need me to help save their ass huh. Well screw them. Who asked them to take such long breaks and chit-chat around so much?

P: Aiya, not like we have much to do in the afternoon anyway. Just agree lor.

D: SIAO AH. Why should we help them? They have such low productivity levels, it's time they reflect on themselves. You think they would appreciate it? They are just going to throw to you all those useless boring stuff they can't be half-arsed to do.

You know how sometimes your mind processes things so fast, it seems like a lot of time has passed when in reality it's not. That was what happened. The raging internal battle seems to take place in a whole new time continuum but I think I only took 2 seconds to come to a conclusion.

"Sure, no problem."

The Devil lay dazed on the ground with twittering birds flying in a circle around its head, beaten to a bloody pulp by the Pushover, now standing over it with a baseball bat in its hands. In the most ironic events of all, Pushover turns out....not to be such a pushover.

So hence I resumed back to my 8 hours working period starting today.

Deep down, I knew that they will be going to give me stuff that they are too lazy to do. Which means boring, dreary tasks. From the senior that I loathe. Not that I care much anyway. I just sit there, my mind drifting off, searching for inspiration for blogging while my hands take on a mind of their own and do the typing. I really don't give a damn if I type in something wrongly or overlooked something. My warped logic tells me that if it's something important, they wouldn't give it to me to do. Hence, who cares if something's wrong?

So my mind wandered a long long way and came back happy and fulfiled with a whole lot of new ideas for upcoming blogposts. Meanwhile, my hands did all the work. See? Win-win situation.

I believe nothing says SCREW THIS JOB more than that.

Truth be told, I was snickering inside me when I realized they need me so much more than I need them. I was delightedly wallowing in a pool of glee and smugness. My sis says I should have asked for a raise and I was like, yeah right, only when stupid Recruit Express goes bust.

But! Honestly, I have no idea if I can survive for two whole weeks. Up til now, I'm still a little baffled as to why I agreed to help them. And what's more, it's my birthday week!:( I thought about it and came up with only one explanation for that brain-not-engaged moment:

I am a certified pushover :(

HAHAHAHHAHAHHA SUCKAAAA!!!*pbbbfffftttt*

(Picture credits: http://www.google.com/)

Double Standards

2010-10-16T16:07:00.005+08:00

This world is full of them, I just can't help noticing.

Take for example, guys who sleep around are labelled as "playboys". In US comedies like Friends, How I met you mother and Two and a Half Men, they are glorified characters. But if a woman were to do that, "slut" or "whore" will be stamped all over her forehead by her fellow sisters (screw the sorority) faster than she can say "whooooooooops".

Maybe that's why we hardly see any female leads in any shows being portrayed as someone who sleeps around. The social backlash would cripple the film. Of course there are some but their roles are generally more minor and less attention is focused on their lifestyle.

I read an interesting article in Women Weekly some time back, focusing on the discrepancy between how male and female bosses are viewed. The gist is that if a male boss were to be assertive and demanding, he would be credited with being a natural leader, possibly strong-willed and confident. But if a woman were to employ the same tactics, she is labelled the "office bitch".

Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of US Vogue, reportedly has a reputation for being dictatorial and domineering, so much so that her nickname has become "Nuclear Wintour".

In fact, Miranda Priestly (The Devil wears Prada) is widely believed to be based on Anna Wintour
(BY THE WAY, I love Meryl Streep. Kudos to her for having the whole piercing "I'm going to scorch you alive" look down pat)

The article also spoke about a famous experiment called "The Goldberg Paradigm", in which a group of people are given a speech and asked to evaluate its effectiveness or persuasion. Each time that is run, the people would rate it higher if they were told the speech is by a man, than if it were by a woman.

I guess this is just a society stereotype and gender bias. From ancient times, women are expected to be passive and meek while men are the dynamic, dominating gender. So it doesn't matter if male bosses are aggressive, they are still viewed as leaders. The mindset will just be that "it's their way of ensuring the job gets done".

But if a female boss were to do that, nicknames and sulky glances will fly across the office. There is consistent evidence, based on surveys, that high dominance in women often translates to low likeability. Case in point, Hillary Clinton, during the presidential nomination race in 2008.

I remember my mom remarking at that time, "Tsk, look at her, so fierce, so scary".

Apparently, aggressive women are viewed less than desirable. If a woman is too forceful, she is viewed to be less approachable and caring. That is why there is so much negative feedback to her, with her being judged more harshly on the "dominance scale" than then-senator Barack Obama. I'm guessing that to a certain extent, her gender has worked against her campaigns.

I have a feeling that if she were to become President, people would view her more as somebody to be feared rather than someone to be respected or adored.

People are comfortable with social familiarity and the moment something out of the ordinary happens (in this case, a strong, capable woman leader), we recoil and judge them. Women are expected to be the more emotional, caring and empathetic gender. Thus, most people (to be honest, me too) think that a firm, assertive female boss is synonymous with "bitch". Definitely not somebody to cross paths with.

Maybe it's because we are all aware, at some point or another, that women have it more difficult than men and have to work twice as hard to get anywhere. The fact that a female can emerge as a leader proves that she HAS got to be more ruthless and aggressive to get to her position.

Alright to be fair, I guess double standards apply to men as well. In a society where there is an increased in crossing of gender in jobs, men don't have it easy too. Remember the previous post I wrote about guys working in the fashion industry? The general stereotype is that they are gays. It doesn't matter that they are 100% heterosexual, but just happens to have a flair for fashion or is more concerned with their appearance than the normal guy. Any male in the fashion world will run the risk of being labelled a homosexual.

Whaddya mean, I'm vain?! I'm ..... oooooh a mirror! Man, I look good, babyyy

(Credits: http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2008/2/11/921/78593)

"It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved before"

2010-10-11T00:18:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah? The genius who came up with that line has probably

1) Never lost someone before
2) Never loved someone before

The pain of losing a friend whom you thought you could trust, the hurt that comes with it sometimes makes me question whether friendship is really worth making or keeping.

And if the other party is oblivious to your feelings, the sword just seems to drive deeper. The deeper into the pit you fall, the harder it gets to climb out.

Sometimes I think the Grinch has the right idea after all. If you don't get close to people, you don't get hurt as much.

Friends halve the sorrow and double the joy.

Until the day they betray your trust. They will quadruple the sorrow.

I don't know who you are anymore and frankly, I'm getting tired of trying to understand you. Isn't it funny that you would choose to believe someone whom you have known a shorter time than me?

Regrets

2010-10-02T17:50:00.002+08:00

I don't know about everybody else but personally, I've always felt that regret is one of the worst emotions ever in this world.

I'm not talking about small regrets like feeling sleepy the whole day at work because you were up playing games the whole night. I'm talking about huge regrets that have altered your aspired way of life and left a dark blemish that you simply cannot turn a blind eye to.

Regrets that filled you with "what-ifs?" and "would life have been better?" that could make you turn cold inside when you realized you could have quite potentially ruined yourself.

Because the thing about regret is, it doesn't just melt away with time. The trace of regret still lingers, occasionally coming back to haunt you once you allow yourself to think about it. Even if good things do come out of it, you still can't help but think and obsess over it. It doesn't fade off the way footprints along the sea coast get washed away by the ebb and flow of the tide, thus erasing all evidence of existence there.

The horrible thing about regret is that it can really eat you and tear you up inside.

I have a friend who lost her dad when she was 12 years old. The worse thing? She had a huge fight with him the previous night he passed away.

She never got a chance to apologize, to redeem back some of the hurtful words exchanged. And she had to live with the pain of knowing that her father probably left the world saddened and hurt.

How do you live with that kind of guilt and regret for the rest of your life?

I have quite a number of deep regrets myself. Regrets that I let myself be so easily affected by what other people did to me, so much so that it affected my academics. Regrets that I refused to let others into my life and ended up hurting so many of my loved ones. Regrets that I have been so naive in thinking that people are a bunch of roses...and didn't see the thorns coming straight at me.

I remember reading somewhere that regret is really just anger at yourself and I realized how true that is. The base of my regrets are mostly anger of how stupid and naive and blinded I was. And all these regrets will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I would be lying if I say I don't wonder about how my life would have been different had I been stronger and more cautious. When I allow my mind to wander, I find myself imaging about life had I reacted and behaved differently. And in most scenarios, I wound up happier and enjoying life much more.

Later on I realized that this is just what I imagine life to be. Everybody dreams of being the popular kid, being loved by all or the smart straight-A student etc etc. When we look back on what went wrong, we align our dreams and aspirations to the alternate route in life, hence convincing ourselves that things would be better if we had done things differently. It's the unknown and wonderment that kept us fantasizing. For all we know, the other route could have yielded much more painful results.

As Oscar Wilde once said," One's real life is often the life that one does not lead".

*

I believe in reincarnation and karma. I believe that all our enjoyments and sufferings in this life is a result of what we did in our previous existence, hence I believe Hitler is probably a cockroach right now, running away from the scores of feet raining down on him every day.

I'm pretty sure that nobody in this world can remember what their past life was. But if the pain of regret is anything to go by, I think people would start living their lives more carefully if they knew about their past life and what they did to deserve such sufferings/ happiness in their current life. They would probably think twice about harming people, torturing people if they know that all this is just going to come back to them and hit them twice as hard in their next life. And they would feel and suffer similarly for it, filled with bitter regret but knowing that this is what they deserved.

On the other hand, if they are leading happy, fulfiled lives, they would be more encouraged to be a better person so that their next life would be an even happier and smooth-sailing one and they can enjoy it.

But alas, this is not the way the world works

*

That was quite a cheerless bit I have written in front so I shall end the theme of regrets in a better light. I have mentioned this before and I shall say it again - I do sincerely believe that everything happens for a reason, even if sometimes my world seems to crash before my eyes. And believe me, I have been through something of that magnitude. At the risk of sounding annoyingly optimistic, I will just say that I will learn from things and allow hard times to make me a stronger person. Because if I do not do that, I would have failed utterly and miserably in life.

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable"
- Sydney Smith

Adults are WEIRD

2010-09-28T22:29:00.002+08:00

Something funny happened today.

I was having lunch with 5 other colleagues. Needless to say, I was the youngest one there, the rest all at least 30 years old and above. So they were talking about all the recent parliament news or something and I was just kind of listening to them discuss. So anyway they were talking and talking and then, I don't know how, but somehow the word "breast" came up.

I really can't remember how "breast" got into the topic but the moment it was uttered, one of my colleagues (let's call her A) did a huge double-take, covered her mouth and looked at me in wide-eyed horror.

"OH MY GOD," she exclaimed in alarm. "Oh my god, eh, eh cannot say that word! *waves frantically to the other colleagues* Got little kid here leh!"

What the F**K?!

I was momentarily speechless. I somehow managed to give a weak smile and wave my hand dismissively."Oh it's alright". But deep inside, I was stunned.

OEI do I look like I'm 8 years old? For your information, the last time I checked, I am turning 20 this year. Or do I look like I just came out of a Catholic convent, where all I do is sing hymms or something all day long?

And hello, I bet even little kids have heard of the word "breast" before. And you think a 20-year-old cannot take the word? What is this, 1943?

And secondly, I have taken pure biology in my secondary school days. You think this is my first time hearing about breasts? What do you think the teacher uses when we are learning about puberty in Sec 1? "Mammary glands"? "Boobies"?

Thirdly, I resent being referred to as "little kid". Which part of me looks or sounds like "a kid"? Fine, if I'm a kid, then all the secondary school kids will be toddlers, primary school kids will be infants and 3-year-olds will be er.....not-yet-conceived?

Fourthly, since when is the word "breast" considered a dirty word in front of kids or in the public for that matter? What's wrong with that word? Everybody has those, it's not a swear word, teachers don't give you a scolding when you use that.

So can someone PLEASE explain to me why is it that adults think "breast" should never be uttered in public? It's as much a part of your body too, just like your arms or your eyes, for goodness sake. Stop being so freaking narrow-minded! And this coming from a 30 plus woman, not a conservative 70-year-old granny.

It's funny,really. Maybe during our parents' time, words that have the slightest sexual hint are considered a big no-no and will earn you a rap on the head. But, GOD, times have changed, get over it. I have no qualms about teaching my primary 5 student about the reproductory system. You think I would get red-faced then giggle nervously when I explain to her how the human egg is fertilized? WAH LAU GOT PICTURE SOME MORE LEH, how?

This reminds me of Elliot Reid from Scrubs, who makes up her own words for human genitals:

Next time, "vagina" in textbooks should be crossed out and replaced with "bajingo"

I tell you, the next time a similar scenario happens, I'm just going to look the person straight in the eye and say loudly and clearly,

"PENIS"

I am so going to Hell one day

2010-09-25T18:59:00.001+08:00

Why not? I think it would be a pretty interesting place. I bet there will lots of interesting souls there. I don't know when I will be going...maybe some time soon, maybe a long time later. And when I'm going, will I be bringing someone with me, someone deserving of it?

Hmmm....maybe I should start thinking of the person whom I will be choosing to drag to Hell with.

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TA-DAHHHH!!!!:D

Hahahahhaa of course I'm not talking about fiery-depths Hell. I'm talking about this little village in Norway called Hell. Yeah there REALLY is a Hell on Earth. LOL. The funnier thing? The temperature can drop to -20°C during winter time. So I guess "when Hell freezes over" as a sarcastic remark doesn't quite cut it there.

Not surprisingly, this little town has become a minor tourist attraction because of its name. And also because the villagers have quite went out of their way to bank on the village name, as you can see from the above pictures (credits to Google). Who wouldn't want to say proudly "I have been to Hell...and came back unscathed!", together with a picture as evidence?

Can you imagine saying that to people, that your lifelong wish is to go to Hell one day?:D

Or imagine the jokes you can play on unsuspecting people!

Annoying bimbotic friend: Ooooh I'm having SUCH a hard time deciding where to go for holidays this year. My little sugarpuff has taken me to sooooo many places already. I'm, like, so sick of Japan. My cupboard is already full of Hello Kitty stuff which my darling honeysmooch says I look soooooo cute in *giggles* And sooo many people going Korea nowadays, if I go, I wouldn't be special anymore *pouts* I want to go somewhere none of my 900 Facebook friends have gone, so I can take lots of pictures with my little bunnywuffles and post on Facebook! *drifts off dreamily at the thought of being the envy of everybody*

Me (breaking the silence): Why don't you go to Hell?

*

(This will work better if you are a boss)

Me (cheerily): Good morning everybody! It's been another year again and I'm glad to inform everybody that we have all done exceptionally well this year!So for our annual company trip this year, I have decided to send all of you to, not Thailand as per every year, but somewhere far far away!!

Employee A: How far away??

Me: Oh, trust me, it's reallyyy far *winks*

Employee B (excitedly): I bet it's Japan!

Employee C (shouting over the cheers of excitement): NO WAY! I bet it's somewhere exotic like...like...Egypt!

Me: Oh, much further than that. You guys are going to...*pauses for dramatic effect* HELL! Unfortunately, I regret to inform you all that Shelly the new secretary screwed things up so there's only a one-way ticket there. I'm afraid you guys will just have to make your own way back *pulls regretful face* If you can, I mean. If you can't, maybe you guys will just have to stay there since Hell isn't exactly in Asia right? *chuckles at non-existent joke*

Yeah that was kinda lame haha. I have lots of things and thoughts to blog about, gathered over this past week but unfortunately this is the only thing that I remembered. It would be so cool to go to Hell one day. So if one day somebody tells me to go to Hell, I could casually flick my hair, look over my shoulder and say in a drawling voice, "honey, been there, done that".

Just a thought, though. I wonder what the villagers in Hell are called. And is the chief called *gasp* Lucifer?

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE GIRLS?

2010-09-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

Of course you have. They are EVERYWHERE.

On the MRT, in Orchard Road, Bugis Junction, Cityhall....Yes, I'm referring to those girls who simply love to dress up as Japanese high school girl characters, from their headbands right down to their cutesy shoes. Nothing wrong with that, really. But when A LOT of girls decide to do just that, it gets scary.

I noticed that when I went Bugis Junction yesterday. I swear, at one point or another, they look like some clones of each other. It's like being in some freak circus show or something! Bloody annoying. And they usually have all, or at least half of the following criteria:

1) They have long hair that's rebonded, dyed light brown/yellow or have a streak of some weird colour like dark purple

2) They LOVE wearing headbands. Cutesy, polka-dotted ones, maybe with a little flower by the side. If Blair Waldorf were to see that, she would go into spasms and die frothing at the mouth.

3) If they don't wear headbands, they just tie a little ponytail by the side of their head

4) They usually have on thick make-up. Of course. Who has ever heard of a Japanese character with *GASP!* a PIMPLE?!

5) They wear black eye-liner to maximize that doe-eyed effect.

6) They usually have bangs. I'm not sure whyyy.....won't the bangs irritate your eyes? It looks damn uncomfortable to me.

7) They are impossibly skinny

8) Their skirts are usually omfg-I-can-see-too-much-when-you-are-on-the-escalator short

9) Their legs are soooo long and skinny, they would make a Daddy Longlegs cringe and shrivel up with embarrassment

10) Their nails are long, well-kept, manicured, painted. Sometimes adding a bit of bling to it.

11) They squeal at the littlest thing

12) They luuuuurve taking pictures and it's usually in the following sequence:
- hold camera to a higher angle
- tilt head down
- widen peepers
- pucker lips a little or just stick out the lower lip

*CLICK!*

You can't go wrong with that. Maximum kawaiiii neh~

12) When they are with their boyfriends, they act coy and pout when they are unhappy, until the guys take them into their arms. SUCKA.

*

Why do guys love girls like that? Girls who look like sweet, innocent virgins and can't protect themselves against a fly. I don't get it. I really don't. Possibly it gives these guys a bit of an ego boost, of having someone that constantly needs their protection?

Or maybe these guys are too addicted to Japanese anime and visualize their perfect girl to be tall and skinny but with big boobs, tiny waist, long legs, flawless skin and long waist-length hair. Machiam living in their own anime world like that.

And girls, similarly, think that this way of dressing-up will get the guys' attention! After all, don't all the heroines in the story always get that perfect, well-groomed, impossibly handsome guy? And what do those heroines looks like? That's right. Tall and skinny but with big boobs, tiny waist, long legs, flawless skin and long waist-length hair.

Hence to both parties, that is the (somewhat distorted) version of true beauty.

These girls probably think they are being cute and sweet. Since it is socially frowned-upon to bully people who are suffering from intellectual poverty, I shall be nice to them and henceforth refer to them as Kawaii N Sweet, or KNS if you like, girls. Cheers!

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that everybody who dresses up like Japanese characters are idiots. I'm also not saying that skinny girls with long dyed hair and blessed with glam gams are Japanese-character-wannabes. I'm generalizing here so take everything I say with a pinch of salt please.

But if you happen to match all the criteria above, then you must have wandered into the wrong site. Because I don't recall knowing anybody like you:)

Think your neighbourhood is bad/ wacky enough? Think again

2010-09-16T16:43:00.002+08:00

Awwwww....SMURFS!

Brings patriotism to a whole new level

"Oh I'm sorry, did my toilet bowl scare you shitless/ the crap out of you?"

"Wakka wakka wakka..."

Try telling this to those people shoving flyers into your face at every MRT station.

I half expect a King with a golden crown on his head and donned in silk robes with fur to step out and wave regally to the populace.

How great would it be if I could do this to my room!Although it might be a pain when spring-cleaning comes about...

"Hi,does Polly Pocket live here?"
"What gave it away...?"

I'm watching you....every single second...

Attractive prizes for the first 3 people who manage to find the most number of Easter Eggs! What,nobody?

Clear message to Santa: I know what you did last Christmas Eve night. And there's a toilet in the house goddamit!

While you are it, I would like a house with the Juicy Couture logo emblazoned over it please

Have I mentioned that I hate dolls? As in really HATE them. Damn you Chucky :(

Danse Macabre,anyone?

What you get when you cross Barbie with a viking. Not very attractive, I must say...

Santa's elves on strike? Fret not, there's still the dinosaurs

"...99,100!Ready or not,here I come!...Oh,there you are."

I wonder if this is a new punishment for kids who leave their toys lying around

Instead of a "NO PEE-ING HERE" sign,I think this will be more effective.

And this is my personal favourite:

Go to http://whydoilivehere.cheezburger.com/ for more funny, wacky houses and environment around the world. I had so much fun looking at the pictures and equally fun picking out my favourites for this post and thinking of one-liners. In fact, it was so addictive, I just might do up another one;) cheerios!

A Stepford Wife...

2010-09-12T18:48:00.004+08:00

Hahahha ok far from it,really.

Since chances of me or any of my siblings going overseas to study are pretty much nil, it is quite difficult to make us learn more about housework. Oh, we do have simple chores but asking us to do that 365 days a year is....yeah,not very likely. So in order to make us ~~appreciate her more~~ learn to be more independent, my dear mother decided to do the drastic.

Nope, she didn't pack our things and throw us out. She decided to go on a holiday.

It's a win-win situation for her really. She gets to have fun and at the same time, made us more independent. Oh boy my mother is a sneaky one.

I was put in charge of the clothes area - washing, hanging them out to dry, folding them and ironing them yadda yadda. I have no problems with that, except for the ironing part, which is why today saw me having my first true interaction with the iron.

Hey don't judge me. The last time my clothes needed serious ironing was during my secondary school days and my mom refused to let me touch anything dangerous then.

But yup times have changed. I'm happy to say that I did well and escaped relatively unharmed. Relatively because well, this being my first attempt and all, I scalded myself on the....what do you call that, knuckles of my left thumb? That rounded part where your finger is connected to your hand.

Yeah it's kinda stupid really. I was thinking about something and not being careful enough. That would teach me,really. Even as I sit here typing this, that spot is throbbing slightly. It isn't as painful now, after I applied some of the cream my mom used for burns. But I can see the beginnings of a small blister.

Will it be morbid if I say that I'm slightly proud of it?Haha I don't know why, sometimes I like having cuts and scars. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal or emo or crying for attention.

But what I got today is nothing, NOTHING compared to what my mom has endured all these years. She has a long dark scar along her right arm, from that time a hot iron fell of the board and the edge of it scalded her arm. *wince* Is it any wonder that Mother's Day is usually much more focused on than Father's Day?

Then there were other things to do such as washing the toilets and vacuuming/ mopping the floor once every few days but other than that, there's nothing much else to do. The only other thing I'm worried about is our meals.

I don't think anybody could quite appreciate home-cooked food as those people who have to eat outside ALL THE TIME. And that's what would happen to me. I eat lunch outside every working day and I'm getting sick of it. And now, dammit, I would have to settle both meals outside. What to do? My mom forbade me from using the kitchen because she's scared she will come home to find our flat burnt down.

I don't know whether to feel secretly relieved that I don't have to cook for the family (no need to wash the dishes afterwards!) or feel insulted that she has such lousy faith in my culinary skills.

Alright, I can't cook as elaborate dishes as my mom but I can whip up some simple dishes one lor. I wished I had taken Home Econs in my lower secondary years. MEP is really a waste of time. But anyway, there's only one weekday when I can reach home before 9pm and that day is usually reserved for my social activities. I won't have time to cook anything really.

So yup, I'm kinda at a loss as to what I should have for lunch and dinner for the next 16 days. Don't be surprised if the next time you walk with me and I run screaming away at the sight of a hawker centre or food court.

Goodbye, home-cooked food. I will miss you. Helloooooo all the extra calories!

A shallow,frivolous post

2010-09-07T00:46:00.005+08:00

I have been reading lots of blogs recently and I realized how much easier it is to read a post if it is titled. Hence,from now onwards,I shall make an effort to title my posts;) For now,that is. The novelty may wear off soon.

Anyway I have been thinking and reflecting a lot recently - on my past, present and future. But I'm not gonna talk about that today, as you can see from my TITLED POST. Maybe one day, when I feeling all reflective and moody, I may write about it.

But today, let's talk about something more lighthearted - Project Runway!

I've been watching Project Runway religiously ever since season...3 I think.Ok,not exactly religiously,since I only watch when Channel 5 airs it and that's usually what, 1 year late?In my defense,I have too many other American shows to catch up on. So anyway, I'm now currently catching up on Season 7 on my laptop (Channel 5?What Channel 5?) before all the other shows come back with the new seasons.

I realized I have a love-hate relationship with Heidi Klum (ok that sounds wrong). I love her because obviously,she's gorgeous and way too hot for a mother of what,4?Plus I can't help respecting her for the way she carries herself, so poised and confident. Maybe I would be too, if I earn USD 14million per year like she did (if I'm not wrong). And I hate her because not only is she beautiful,she's happily married and has a family. Basically everything anybody could ask for - Looks,Love and Lots of $$$. And she was pregnant while filming for Project Runway Season 7 but the only tell-tale sign of it was her baby bump:(

But one of the things that made me sad while watching this show is that whenever I see a cute male designer,I don't think to myself "GOD he's CUTE!" like I usually do to random cute guys on the street. Instead my first thought would be "GOD is he gay?"

Don't get me wrong,I have nothing against gay people. But it's just sad to see a particularly cute guy who may turn out to like the same guy as you do. So anyway,this got me wondering about male fashion designers. How many of them are straight anyway?A quick search on Google has these names listed:

- Tommy Hilfiger
- Valentino
- Calvin Klein
- Salvatore Ferragamo
- Paul Smith
- Ralph Lauren

Huh what do you know.Seems like a fair number of leading males in the fashion industry are straight, and not "98% gay" as my mom firmly believed. I guess that's the huge misconception of males in the fashion world. I better get rid of my stereotype of them too.

After all, who cares if they are gay, when they can come with such lovely wear! They make us girls happy, that's what matters (I mean their designs, OBVIOUSLY). Giorgio Armani makes gorgeous suits,which make men look good, which makes us girls look at them even longer. And I love Marc Jacobs bags,something I aspire to own some day.

Maybe the fact that they are homosexuals is one of the reasons why they are able to come up with such breathtaking outfits and accessories. They are able to look at things from a woman's point of view, understand our needs and what will make us look good.

I can't be bothered to do too much research in this area so I'm not sure if all those people I listed above are straight/gay. Different people say different things. There's this one guy too:

Cute,isn't he?:) He's the type of guys whom, if I meet on the street, would have me trying to steal a second, third, fourth glance at him without being too obvious. This babe magnet is none other than Christopher Bailey,chief creative director of Burberry. There is a much-heated debate on whether he's straight or gay. In the end, Wikipedia set things straight:

Sorry for the small font. If you can't read the last line, it says *cue dramatic music*....

Woods (some English actor) is currently dating Christopher Bailey.

Oh dear :( I think Wikipedia may have just crushed a dozen girls' hearts but lifted the spirits of a few homosexuals.

2010-08-25T12:51:00.007+08:00

If there's one thing I hate,it's girls who act all chummy with guys when in a group but ignore the females entirely.Easily one of my top 5 peeves,together with backstabbers and girls who think it's adorable to pose cute and write things like "i lurrrbee moiiii bf.muacksssxxxx.lurrbe,hunny" (WTF.In what way does love sound like "lurrrrbe"?How do you pronounce that anyway?!)

Back to my gripe.Don't you hate girls who ignore females totally in a group,and instead concentrates all her efforts on the guys,giggling and talking to them only?IT'S SO F**KING RUDE.And it makes me want to strangle them even more when they organize outings and EVERYTHING IS DONE ACCORDINGLY TO THE GUYS' WISHES ONLY,with no consideration for whether the girls are ok with it.So we girls are expected to go along with it meekly,just because the guys want to?!WTF if you don't want to listen to our opinions,then don't bloody try to ask us along and get it to be a "group outing".The way I see it,it is just you and the guys' outing,because none of what the girls want to do gets chosen for the itinerary of the day.

Is it any wonder that I get boiling pissed whenever this happens?And it's not only once or twice either.And even if we do go along with the activities,most of the time we end up feeling stupid when these girls gave the guys' all the attention in the world but none to her sisterly comrades and basically made us feel as though we are silly little tag-alongs.Even worse if I were alone,together with those girls *shudders*.But once the guys are gone,they start coming over to us ignored girls like flies to food wtf.

What,so just because we are not 1.7m tall beings with testerone,we are not worthy of your attention?I absolutely detest girls like that.No point in being friends with them anyway.As long as we are estrogen-filled,we will never be deemed as important.

I don't care what people say about me,that I should try not to be too obvious that I'm deepy unhappy with them.It's not that I don't give these girls chances - I tried,but the minute they get a whiff of testerone,it's like "er...do I know you?".They flit to the guys the second they see them and when I walk over and try to include myself,they just give a patronizing look and in the end,decided I'm not worthy of their attention,hence pretty much ignoring me for the rest of the time.

Once,I was sitting with one of those girls in the MRT.On her other side was a guy,a friend.Guess who she chose to turn her back to for the entire trip?It's so blatantly rude,I regret not jabbing her in the back with my pen.

Tell me,why should I give these people the time of my day anyway?So what if I show that I'm furious with them?Like I've mentioned before,I hate hypocrites.If I don't like someone,I'm not going to pretend that I'm ok with them.Because if I do so,then I wouldn't be able to complain about anything because I would come across as a backstabbing bitch.And god knows I can't keep any frustrations to myself.I will vent it out,boy will I vent.

I'm aware that this may bring complications to the people around us but I'm sorry,you can't expect me to smile and pretend to laugh with them whenever we go out together.I can't do that,my facial muscles forbid me from doing so.I will apologize for any discomfort but I will NOT apologize for my behaviour and I most certainly am not going to change,unless you give me valid reasons to.

I have been made to feel stupid and redundant once too often and I am not going to take that lying down again.I don't care if we don't hang out anymore.What's the point of an outing when I feel like such a dumb loser?And I also don't care if all the people rally to their sides,for those are all their friends.But hey,you think,is it worth it to lose other friends just because of those girls?Well,I'm not saying I'm breaking ties with all the other friends.It's up to them - if they think I'm the mean bully here and do not wish to continue our friendship,then fine by me.Nothing I say would make a difference anyway.

Think what you want of me but let me tell you that the flame won't start without a few sparks.

That's all for now.Cheers!

2010-08-23T23:23:00.005+08:00

Sometimes when people say very bu yao lian stuff,I find myself thinking whether they are aware of how they are coming across.

Take for example,receptionist girl.Today I asked her when she's going Hong Kong for holidays,cos last Friday we went for lunch with the HR manager and she (HR manager) asked her about it.RG was like, "How do you know I'm going HK?Did someone in the office tell you?"

"Yeah..."I replied,thinking of the HR manager.

And she instantly became hysterical."Oh my god,why is everybody talking about it?I only told XXX (some colleague) and now the whole office knows about it!!Oh no oh no oh no..."

I stared at her,a bit unsure of how to react.

Because you see,so far I have only heard it from one person,which is the HR manager,and that was only over lunch.I have never heard another person in the office talking about it,not even a whisper.Why could possibly make her presume that her little holiday is worth being the Talk of the office?

Actually I kinda know why.Every time we go for lunch,she would tell me about who said what to her.According to her,she's practically chums with everybody in the office.So presumably,she assumes she's one of them and that of course,her upcoming holiday is worth talking about,because isn't that what friends do?

*whistles*

Oh who cares,today's her last day.On to another topic!

For the previous 2 weeks,I was working night shifts at the clinic back-to-back every weekday night.I had no idea how I managed to pull through but I am damn proud I managed to *applause*.

So anyway on two of the nights I was working,we had a new locum coming in.That evening,I was sitting there preparing medicine when he entered.I looked up as he came in.He's an Indian doctor,but those goodlooking kind.A bit short and stout,but overall with good features.Normally I would be thrilled to see a cute doctor (ah-hem) but for some reason,this doctor puts me off.I can't explain why either...it's just a repulsive feeling that I got.And later on,my sixth sense proved right.

Firstly,he came in without acknowledging or greeting either of us (me and the other auntie).He might as well have owned the clinic,from the way he swaggered in.I have worked with enough new locums to know that ALL OF THEM have the courtesy to enquire our names and greet us on their first day.What's with him then?But I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt - he may have been over-nervous and forgotten that.

In our clinic,the common practice is for the doctor to come out and place the patient's card,after he was done examining them,on top of the printing machine,which is located right beside the door.We will then proceed to take the card off the top of the machine and do whatever we need to do for the patient.To be fair,we forgot to tell him that was our way of doing things,so after the first patient went out,he called out,"Excuse me?"

I realized that he had no idea what to do with the card so I went in to the room to take it from him.He frowned as I came in and said,"What do I do with it?Is there like a bell for me to press?"

I smiled a bit (bell?wtf,you whackjob,you think what,calling for service at hotel lobby ah?), "Oh no,you just place the card right on this printing machine *gestures to the machine outside the door* and we will do..."

I didn't manage to finish my sentence before I got knocked off my feet by a huge tidal wave of fury.

Ok,maybe not,but I was taken aback by that huge scowl on his face when he heard he actually had to get off his chair and walk less than 2 metres to get the card to us. He was radiating such ferocious waves of immense displeasure and annoyance that I was scorched by them,despite standing more than 6 feet away.I just took the card he placed at the edge of the table and scuttled away like a frightened rabbit.

Needless to say,my opinion of him went into the negative area.

Despite me telling him what to do,he never once took the card to us.We always have to go in and get from his table,which is a total pain especially if we are busy.Furthermore,he never bothered telling us when it's ready.Once,I forgot that I have to take the card personally from him in the room and when I remembered,the patient had already exited the room 10minutes ago.

So I peeked into the room and there he was,reading the papers with a serene look on his face.I was severely annoyed,since I have other patients to attend to so I just stomped in and snatched the card off the table,jostling the pencil holder he used as a paperweight,purposely making quite a bit of noise.

He looked up,a bit surprised,but said nothing.Not even a simple "thank you" or a word of apology.God help me,I want to smack him hard with the patient's medical records and mess up that stupid gelled hair.

WTF is a person like him doing as a doctor?!What is with his uppity attitude?It's not as though he is some big-shot neurosurgeon or something.And I know because I eavesdropped.That's right,I was waiting to hear more about Mr Snooty-face,to see if he has the criteria to be so goddamn cocky.

When the patient asked him what does he work as in the morning (LOL I find that funny.So what,he's a doctor by day and Batman by night?),he replied,"Oh I work as a surgeon in SGH,"and quickly changed the topic.I smirked a little.Obviously just a little role la...given his super inflated ego,don't you think he would have "casually" ventured deeper into the topic of "being a surgeon" if he were a high-ranking one?Furthermore,high-ranking surgeons DON'T need to come work at night.Pffffffft.

That's another thing.He is so chummy with the patients,it's seriously nauseating.He flatters them,butters them up,laughs with them.WTF filthy hypocrite.No wonder all the female patients look so happy after they came out.Stop being so silly,I want to tell them.He's nice to you only because you guys are paying for his salary that night.

Speaking of which,I snuck a peek at his salary for two nights on his last night.WTF KNS.Why is someone with an emotional quotient of a teaspoon (got that from Hermione Granger!hahaha!)worth so much?What else did he give out besides medical advice,tomorrow's 4D numbers?

Anyway *clears throat*. So on the last day,just 5 minutes before we close,a patient entered.I HATE IT when people do that.They don't seem to realize that when we say we close at 9pm,we mean we close at 9pm,not last registration at 9pm.So they will happily saunter in at 9pm and say,"But you guys not closed what!" and proceed to have long discussions with the doctor so that by the time we clean up and shut off everything,it would be around 9.30pm.WTF mighty annoying.I hate selfish people like that.

Alright back to what I was saying.

So this patient came in at around 8.55pm,complaining of a pain in her heart.Mr Snooty-face wanted to examine her so I had to be a chaperone.I just stood in and watched him examine her chest area and question her.The woman,in her 40s,was obviously charmed by him - she kept gazing at him while expressing her worries.Needless to say,I was faintly amused. "Oh doctor,I'm so worried that I will be getting a heart attack!"

"I don't think you need to worry about that,"he said,putting away his stethoscope."Your heart is fine and your lungs are absolutely pristine."

I kid you not,he actually used the word "pristine".I stared.

First of all,who on earth talks like that?Who does he think he is,the Duke of Kent?The next thing you know,he would be asking for lobster quiche and sliced foie gras (I have no idea what those food are,they just sound expensive).

Secondly,this is just a simple typical heartlands auntie you are talking to,not some upper-class taitai with a Versace bag (LV is so passé,dahling) and a little shih tzu in tow.I doubt she understands what "pristine" means.But from that dreamy look on her face,I don't think she cares much.

"I don't thnk you need to worry,"he went on,as he settled himself down on the chair."You are still young and people usually don't have heart attacks until they are reaching the 50 mark.And your lungs are absolutely pristine."

Oh shut up already.I thought about what I would do if this were a TV sitcom,complete with a laughing soundtrack,then shook myself a little and forced my wandering mind back to the room.I want to pick up any funny details so that I can blog about it.And I wasn't disappointed.I swear,everything I'm saying in this post is the absolute truth.

Because after saying that,the woman beamed."Oh doctor,do you think I'm young?"

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O.O!!!!!!

I can't remember what the doctor said because I was momentarily overcome with delight at this priceless little piece of ill-disguised flirting.I only remember the woman floating out of the room on a little piece of cloud so I guess he must have said something correct.I too floated out of the room on a cloud of glee.Heeheehee this is too funny for words!I have never seen such lousy and obvious flirting.The fact that she's flirting with such an arrogant,puff-up snob makes it seem even funnier,I don't know why.In fact,I had to bite down hard on my lips to keep from smirking while in the room.

That's why I say,the clinic is actually full of interesting people.A little bit of salt and pepper to the plain porridge that is my daily routine:) tralala!Will keep an eye out for more funny cases like this to brighten up my day!

2010-08-19T14:09:00.009+08:00

Yesterday morning I woke up to the most gorgeous sky ever.My bed was facing the window so when I woke up at around 7.15am,I saw it all (please note that my vocabulary when it comes to descriptions is pretty limited so I will try my best). The sky was a clear light baby blue (beau blue,I believe it's called), with little streaks of the palest pink,like cherry blossoms,and creamy golden yellow.A few wisps of white cloud floated lazily across the sky.It was like looking at a wallpaper from a child's nursery room; this picturesque scene courtesy of a heavy downpour at 5plus that morning.Since it was still early,there were few cars on the road and the birds were just starting to call out.There is still a dreamy,sleepy feel to the neighbourhood as I stared out of the window,mesmerized.A few birds flew across the sky and at that moment,I swear,I had a sudden acute realization that I'm really glad to be alive.

Nature has a way of doing that to me.Whenever I see Mother Nature at its best,there will be this swelling feeling in my heart that I can't explain.I guess you can call it being overwhelmed.If I were religious,I would probably start thanking God.

Digress!

A few weeks ago,I was on the bus when I passed by this church.Naturally,there were all sorts of Bible quotes blown up onto banners,hanging on the gates,calling on you to believe in Jesus,for who knows you better than yourself and all sorts of crap.There was one that I found rather silly - it said something like "Come believe in God,for He will give you light."

Yeah right.You know who gives us light?The sun.So you mean I should pray to Apollo?Or maybe I should start worshipping electricity.I KNOW that quote was meant as a metaphor.So that means if I fall into some deep dark hole in future (metaphor again),all I have to do is enter a church and start believing in God for all things to go well again?That's silly.Then I will be worshipping God only because I need Him to help me,not because I truly believe he existed.Doesn't that kind of defy the definition of devotion and worshipping?If you claim you are truly dedicated to God,that you will do all His biddings,then why is it that you keep asking Him to bless your business,your family,your life?Who cares if you get knocked down by a car the next day?You are just going to be with Him,isn't that what all Christians strive for?

Anyway,I find the whole belief about being able to go to Heaven if you believe in God utter BULLCRAP.Are you sure you have never committed a single sin in your entire life?Lying in itself is already a sin.And the whole thing about confessing your sins to God and He will cleanse you and forgive you is even more laughable.So if I killed someone and confessed and repented and expressed sincere remorse,I will still be able to go to Heaven?It doesn't change the fact that someone has died because of me,that his family and loved ones are suffering in grief.It's a giant loophole,if you ask me.

Anyway,back to what I was saying.

So anyway,this morning,I woke up instead to a still dark sky,when the birds were still sleeping,because my inconsiderate sister had just came home.It was 5.30am and she was still removing her make-up,using her laptop.How effing inconsiderate.I could not go back to sleep afterwards and just lay in the dark,pissed.I got my revenge when I woke up that morning,by slamming my cupboard doors shut and turning on ALL the lights.HAH that will teach her.

I hate sharing a room with my sister.She is absolutely the worst slob ever.Her clothes and bags are always strewn all over the floor,making it difficult for me to pick my way across to my side of the room. And what's worse is that recently,our room seems to have become the Grand Central station for bugs.In just a short period of 3 weeks,my mom and I had to kill 3 adult cockroaches found scuttling around in our room.That's because my sister kept eating in our room,scattering biscuit crumbs every time.It's so annoying to keep stepping on biscuit crumbs on the floor.Now,I just scoop them up and threw them all on her bed,where undoubtedly,she will just brush them off to the floor.And it's not like she's a big help when it comes to getting rid of bugs.She will just stand on her bed and scream blue murder until me or my mom comes along and get rid of it for her.I would love dearly to leave her stranded on her bed but unfortunately,it's my room too.If I don't get rid of it,the roach may come crawling to my bed.Sheeesh.That is so goddamn unfair.She's the one making all the mess and I have to clean up after her.WTF is this?Talk about 城门失火，殃及鱼池

My mom often said she wished my sister will get married and move out soon.I just acted prissy and told her that I wouldn't wish it on any man.

*

Yesterday the receptionist girl annoyed me again.I brought lunch from home again,lunch being a waku kueh (to hell with the spelling),which has been lying in the fridge for several days and it's high time someone ate it.I was aware that it's probably not enough to fill me so I was fully prepared to eat the biscuits in the pantry,which has recently been filled.Plus,I'm kind of lazy to walk 5minutes to the nearest hawker centre.So I sat at my desk,happily eating my lunch when SHE came around again.

"OH MY GOD (Christians allowed to use that expression meh?) is THIS what you are eating?"

Piss off.

"ARE YOU KIDDING?!"

I just smiled sweetly while I consoled myself by thinking that in a parallel universe,I probably would have stabbed her in the hand with a pencil.

"Well,at least I ate something," I said in a VERY pointed tone of voice.Please note that she did not have lunch 2 days before.

She smiled back and walked off.

I don't know if she took the hint or not but I'm already prepared with my next answer should she start using that judging tone again.I will just cock my head thoughtfully and say,"Hmmm....oh yeah,what did u eat on _________(choose a day when she didn't eat anything)?"HAH that will shut her up,wouldn't it?If that doesn't work,then I give up.

2010-08-16T22:55:00.008+08:00

I can't believe my luck today.Two cute guys smiled at me within the span of 2 hours!:D LOL I am such a sucker for cheap thrills.The first one was the cute guy I mentioned in the previous post who sells chicken rice.I was walking past the hawker centre,on my way to the clinic,when he looked up from where he was sitting and smiled at me.If I were to exaggerate and describe my feelings then in the style of Disney cartoons,I would say all the animals came out to sing and butterflies flew by while flowers bloom and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Then just about 1hour or so later on,this really cute guy came into the clinic.Do you know I can count on one hand just how many really cute guys I get to see in the clinic at night,ever since I started working about one year ago?It is that pathetic.I found that the time which probably has the most number of good-looking guys coming in is around noontime,where the office people make use of the lunch hour to see the doctor and come dressed in formal wear.

But I digress.So anyway this super cute guy came in,looking like one of those boys in that water polo drama on Channel 5 some time back.He was polite and smiled at me,something MOST people fail to do,and which caught my attention first.He then gave me his name to get his card and when I went to the back to find his records,I thought about the nice way his hair falls into his eyes and that shy little smile he has.Sighhh:D

So I'm kind of ashamed to admit what I did next,which was to sneak a peek at his age (just nice two years older than me!It would suck so much if he were younger) and his block number.Apparently he lives only 2 blocks away from me:D Heeheehee!

Hey don't judge me,any girl would do that.I mean,I have the advantage of access to his information,it won't kill to abuse it once in a while.Besides,that guy is really cute.And come on,it's not like I'm going to follow him home.If I were a wee bit more stalkerish,I might have memorized his handphone number and unit number:D Just kidding,that's plain creepy.

Digress again!
Ever since I started work at the clinic,I have realized that it's really not a good idea to piss off people who have access to your address and contact details.Because *to be said in a creepy,disembodied voice* we know where you live...

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight,you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed

-Thriller

LOL ok this is Singapore so it's not like we can really do anything,not unless we want our asses sued off.But recently,my friend,who works in New York New York,added waiters to the list.I stared at her when she said that."Waiters?!"

She shrugged as she sat eating her duck noodles at Crystal Jade.

"Like how?"I prompted her.

I can't remember what she said but she just gave a very careless,dismissive answer.In other words,she did not answer my question.What the hell.That is worrying *frowns*

-Abrupt end of digression-

The only guys in my office are all in their 40s or late 30s with families so is it any wonder that I feel happy whenever a young cute guy smiles at me?This is not called being desperate,it's called erm...a breath of fresh air!Yeah man.When you see the same old people in dramas over and over again,won't you get bored?If a good-looking newbie comes along,don't you think the media would make a huge fuss out of it and crown them as the media darlings?

The same logic applies here.I don't have time to go out and socialize these few days.So of course I'm going to grab hold of any cheap thrills that come my way,no?It's just to make myself happy and contented and add some colours to my otherwise dull,boring life.

If my life this week were to be a palette of colours,the only colours currently would be dark grey and black.No,I'm not suicidal,I'm just living a very boring dreary life this week.No social activities lined up (like I have the time anyway *grumbles*) and I don't feel like going on MSN unless I'm at work.I apologize to my friends - once I get some more time to myself,I will come back!:) Add in a bit of deep blue for the Monday blues and there you have it - the colours of my life.But now here comes a splash of yellow!A splatter of pink!Add a sprinkling of orange.Doesn't it brighten up the picture considerably?

So anyway for the past few days (and probably this upcoming week for that matter) whenever I got home,it's usually really late and I don't have much private time to myself before I hit the sack.That's why the only thing accompanying me every night for that few short hours is The Sims3.

Unfortunately,I think I'm becoming a hermit.Weekends come and all I can think of is playing that evil game instead of out socializing.It got to the point that when people asked me what I did over the weekend,I would mutter,"playing computer games"with a slightly sheepish air.As opposed to people who go do charity work or visit grandparents.

Ok look at it this way - the more I play,the faster I would get sick of it right?So the faster I can go out and socialize again whooop-de-doo!I believe this logic stands=) so if you will excuse me,I am going to continue with The Sims 3.Hope to see you guys soon!One week of playing The Sims3 for almost every single waking moment I'm at home,I believe I'm almost there.I don't need Paul the octopus to tell me that I'm going to be sick of it soon:D

2010-08-11T13:34:00.001+08:00

My 300th post!:D I know,I know,compared to some people who have like more than 700 posts already,mine is pitiful.Unfortunately,I can't think of any memorable events or amusing incidents or controversial topics to talk about here, to commemorate my 300th post so this one here shall just be on the few random thoughts that went through my mind today.Here goes:

Someone must have heard my prayers.

Remember in one of my previous posts I mentioned about how I wished there would be a cute guy in the hawker centre where I often have lunch?Well there is one working there right now:) Alright for the record,I didn't pray for a cute guy to appear.It was merely just a wish,a passing comment.I hardly think any supreme beings would be so free as to grant my shallow wish so...coincidence?Oh whatever.

So anyway there is a cute new guy there now.But it comes with a downside (don't all things?).He sells chicken rice,together with that lao tiko I mentioned before as well.

How very annoying.Which means I can't even look at him much without tiko thinking I'm looking at him.WTF if this is meant to be some kind of joke,it's not very funny.

On a whole new note:

I find Joesph Gordon-Levitt's character in Inception pretty irresistable.With his neatly slicked back hair and immaculate black suit and most of all,his smooth,professional way of handling things...am I the only one who thinks that's sexy?Honestly speaking,I have never heard of Joseph Gordon-Levitt before Inception.Hopefully he will get more exposure in future.

On another note!

I have just bought the new Sims 3 expansion pack, The Sims 3 Ambitions.I hate them for setting me back more than $40 but it's so fun that I forgot about it in a while.I don't know what is it about this game that makes it so successful and painfully addictive.All I know is,I hope they won't come out with another expansion pack just yet,otherwise they are just going to bankrupt me.So for these few days,probably you won't see me online anymore except while I'm at work,because I'd be glued to The Sims 3 from the moment I sit down in front of my laptop.It's like heroin,seriously.In any case,ciao!

2010-08-09T22:45:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,SINGAPORE:) This short post is just going to be about how much I love Singapore so people who hate Singapore,buzz off.This is not your place.

It's true that there may be several policies or restrictions here that have made me greatly unhappy.But overall,I still love Singapore and I'm not afraid to admit that.I feel pride when I see our flag,when I see news of Singapore's accomplishments and when telling foreigners that I'm a Singaporean.Even though I may complain or grumble about certain new policies here,Singapore is and will always be my homeland.Because it is so much more than just those policies - it's a place where I grew up in,a place where I have so many happy memories with my family and friends,a place where I matured and learned.

So I can never understand those people who said they hate Singapore just because they don't like the government or the weather or something stupid like nothing to do here.So what?Face the fact that we have land restriction and thus cannot build too many entertainment facilities.And the fact that we are situated along the Equator.Are all these reasons enough to justify why you hate your own country?You can say you don't like the government for whatever reasons,but how can you say that you hate Singapore?Don't you have any happy memories here at all?Don't you have a family,made friends here?If hand on heart,you are able to answer "no" to the above two questions,then yeah,I think you have sufficient reason to say that you hate this country and you can't wait to get out of it.

I know people have grumbled about the lack of freedom of speech here,but please consider our situation and geographical location.We are small,practically microscopic on the world map,and vulnerable to all the other big countries.If we were to say a single word out of place,we would face deep shit.Other countries allow more freedom because they are big and can withstand much more than we ever could.Being small,we need the protection and support of other countries and that's why we have no choice but to be very careful of what we say.Other countries can withstand terrorist attacks - we can't.Let's face it,if they were to,touch wood,blow up just Orchard Road MRT station,the whole country would be in peril.The number of casualties aside,imagine what it would do to our economy.Do not forget that we are one of the world's leading financial centre and we have a key role in international trade,as well as our strategic location as a port.We may never survive such a blow.

So for the sake of the whole country,racially and politically sensitive topics have to be strictly regulated.We can't help it.Besides that,we have to learn to protect ourselves too.That is why defense is actually one of the highest areas that the government has pooled money into.And because of our small population (I mean as compared to places like the US or South Korea),National Service has to be mandatory.Honestly speaking,what is the likely percentage of young male Singaporeans who will take up National Service voluntarily,for a population of 5million?Precisely.How then are we supposed to defend ourselves?

Also to me,I like the fact that Singapore is generally safe and sound.How can anybody feel safe knowing that your next-door neighbour might turn psycho any second and go on a shooting spree or massacre of a school?Yes,it might be boring,but at least you can go to work and school feeling safe.Again,other countries can withstand any kind of bloodshed or tragedy - we would be crippled by it.The entire community would be thrown into disarray.Also,we need foreign investment and who would dare invest in or set up companies here?

Singapore's education system,for the most part,is still effective.I just don't really like the fact that the style of studying is pretty much memorize then vomit everything out when tests come.There's not much about creative thinking or areas that encourage impromptu speeches.But other than that,how many other countries make it compulsory for Chinese to learn both English and Mandarin,undeniably the two most useful languages in the world currently.It's the kids' own fault that they don't like Mandarin because they find it difficult.Using that as a reason to escape Singapore to western countries just makes me despise them.

That said,I admit there are certain government policies recently that have made me rather unhappy.The huge influx of foreigners (I'm not talking about foreign talents here),the hike in transport charges,the increasing cost of living and expenses here.But then again,no government in the world can be perfect.No matter what decisions they make,there will always be unhappy people.There's no pleasing everyone.I'm not making excuses for them,nor am I saying that I love the government.I'm just being fair.You can't deny that they have done lots of good things for Singapore too.It is quite amazing that an island one third the size of New York City (if I didn't remember wrongly) with no natural resources and limited land can grow to become a leading financial centre and popular tourist attraction, with a strong currency,internationally-acclaimed flight services and airport,and military force the envy of many other countries,within a period of 45 years.Who would have expected that,at that time we were kicked out by Malaysia?Other countries more than fifty times our size still could not achieve what we have now.Tell me,is it really that shameful to admit that you are a Singaporean?

I did not do any research prior to this post so if I got anything wrong,please tell me.And if you have any things to rebutt,please feel free to tell me too.I welcome any opinions,as long as you don't say that you hate Singapore.Because I believe every Singaporean will have some sort of happy memories linked to this country.

2010-08-06T22:49:00.003+08:00

I was watching the new 9pm show on Channel 8, the one featuring Rui En,yesterday night.Boy talk about a major disappointment.I have always loved cop dramas,especially Hong Kong ones,but this one is really just a laugh.Firstly,the amateurish acting.They don't even have good calefares,and those little tag-along police cops' (you know,those that at most only have a few lines per episode and appeared only when they need people for some police operation) acting is simply laughable.I can't help smirking a bit throughout the part where they set up an ambush to arrest human traffickers.It was so fake and rehearsed,everything was so....robotic,if you know what I mean.I don't feel the slightest bit of intrigue or anticipation.All in all,the whole mood was as though the people were just sitting in their office cubicles tapping away on their computers.Dull,boring,monotonous.Blah blah blah.

Secondly,talk about cliched casting!Rui En,as an icy-cool,nobody-can-ruffle-my-feathers CID head officer and Tay Ping Hui as (surprise surprise)a cool,calm,suave but brooding head of another team.Naturally,he will have some sort of painful past which will be elaborated on most likely in the 9th episode,to give him more of a brave,suffering hero image.You know,those "I'm bleeding inside but I'm not going to show my vulnerable side to anybody except the girl whom I'm starting to like".In which case,it's (of course) going to be Rui En and they will fall in love.But not forgetting before that,they will have to be some sort of enemies,always at each other's throat.Ahhhh~sounds familiar?Probably just like the previous 20 dramas you have seen before.Like I said,cliched.In fact,cliched is an understatement.It should be "rip-off from previous dramas".

DIGRESS!

Speaking of cliches,this reminds me of the time I spent the night at Jiayin's house.We were watching this Channel 8 drama (I also don't know why)...can't remember what's the title but it's a show about engineers I think.With Tay Ping Hui and Jesseca Liu and...Jeanette Aw and Elvin Ng?I don't know la,来来去去那几个,it's getting hard to keep track.So anyway,TPH confessed his luuuuuurve for Jesseca Liu but the latter,for reasons I can't remember,decided not to accept it despite she loving him too.So anyway,TPH walked off dejectedly,while JL just stood there,staring after him with pain-filled,miserable eyes.As she turned around and started to walk off sadly,suddenly there was a loud BOOM!

Guess what happened!

JL then sprinted over to the source of the sound and *gasp!* horrors of horrors there has been an accident!A pair of man's legs protruded out from underneath the van!!I remember being faintly amused at this cliched scene and remarked,"She is so going to cry over that body and confess that she loves him and please don't die."

And what do you know!That's exactly what she did!

I continued,"Then TPH is going to appear behind her and heard every single word of her confession."

Lo and behold!There TPH stood behind her!

By this time,we were in fits of laughter."And then he's going to say,'I'm right here' and when JL turns around with tear-filled eyes,they will embrace.Then TPH will ask,'Do you really mean what you just said?'When JL nods,they will kiss and live happily ever after."

Ok,I can't remember what I said,but that's the gist of it.And well well,I was right again.Psychic?I'm afraid not.Just a very,very cliched scene*nods wisely*.

Oh come on!Scenes like these have been reused over and over again,until even us the viewers can predict what they are going to do or say next.Is it any wonder that nobody is watching local dramas now?Not only are the scenes and lines so cliched,the plot is always super predictable.I bet they have a book of cliches called the Book of Cliches (well, cliched stories are usually written by umimaginative people) and whenever they want to write a new story,they will just close their eyes and jab randomly at a passage of cliche to use.I can come up with a few too!Look look - how about having the guy's office suddenly catch on fire?Then the girl will collapse on the ground and sobs as she sees victims being carried out,convinced that she will never see him again.Suddenly the guy will appear and wrap his arms around her,assuring her that today was his off day (MAJOR SHOOT-MYSELF-IN-THE-FOOT LAME HAHAHAHHAHA!!!).And they lived happily ever after!

Or!How about the girl is a psychiatrist and one of her patients is about to commit suicide by jumping off the roof.She goes up there to try and convince her to go down.Meanwhile,guy tries to fight the police surrounding the area to get to the girl because he thought that she was the one trying to commit suicide.Just at that moment,a body falls from the building and everybody gasps!Guy stares in open-mouthed horror.Fortunately,the police had set up a net so the person was safe.Guy thought the girl had fallen off the building and was just about to rush over to the net when he heard Girl call him from the top of the building.Blah blah blah and they lived happily ever after.

Oh I know I know!How about...after being rejected (despite the girl secretly loving him back),Guy decided to go overseas to further his studies.So,secretly,without letting Girl know,he packs his stuff and prepares to go off.However,one of his close friends accidentally let slip (or Girl could have accidentally overheard it) that Guy is going off to the States and never coming back!That afternoon!With just 2 hours left before the flight takes off,Girl arrives at the airport,scanning the terminal frantically and running about like a mad woman (if the roles were reversed,Guy would probably be screaming for Girl too).Just as she was about to give up...ding dong!Guy magically appears in front of her!Long story short,they lived happily ever after.

And cliches don't stop at car accidents,no sir!Writers seem to be quite fond of airplane disasters too.Even though the probability of getting involved in an airplane accident is actually about 1 in 11million,but I guess in shows,anything is possible.Hey if the little Nyonya can survive like 100 attempted murders (what is she,some mutant cat?),it is highly likely to be involved in an aviation disaster,no?But this is Singapore we are talking about and there's no way in hell Mediacorp will be able to carry off a show that involves an airplane so I guess that's why writers here are all sticking to car accidents as cliches.

Anyway!Long digression.Where was I?Oh yes,cliched cop drama plot with amateurish actors.What a waste of time.That's 1 hour of my life I will never get back.Hmpf.I still can't believe I was so stupid and naive as to think that Mediacorp could actually produce a good drama.Bye folks!Off to catch some Daily Show with Jon Stewart(: Mediacorp dramas can go kiss my ass.

(I'm surprised that my good friends are still reading my blog despite my once-in-a-month posts!*touched* hahahha alright,I promise to update more frequently.Stay tuned:D)

2010-08-01T23:50:00.002+08:00

Ok I'm going to be blog about this before I forget any details:

I went to catch Inception together with Jiayin yesterday and it was AWESOME.Easily one of the best movies I have ever watched.The plot captured me so much that I forgot to eat the popcorn because I didn't want to miss a single scene, a single line of the movie.It was so thought-provoking and when I left the cinema,I felt strangely detached.It was a most surreal feeling - like I can't quite place the fact that I'm in the present.That's how drawn into the movie I was, that when I was out of the cinema,I still felt as though I was in the show.And that's how fantastic it was.So many thoughts ran through my mind that I had to slow down for a while and force my mind to calm down.

I'm not going to write down any spoilers.Can't even if I want to,because I would have to explain everything and that would take too long.I will only say it has something to do with dreams and reality.The rest you can go find out yourself=) Plus Joseph Gordon-Levitt,Leonardo DiCaprio's partner,is kind of cute as well.

*

Today's weather was fantastic.It rained in the morning so when I woke up,the weather was wonderfully cool.So I spent the whole day in my room.I read books,with soothing classical music playing in the background,while the cool breeze blew in through the open window.With a cup of hot coffee and my blanket,I felt warm and cosy.The neighbourhood was also rarely this quiet and tranquil,which made me even happier.It had been a long time since I last felt so calm and at peace with the world.All in all,I would say it was a perfect day.

2010-08-01T00:28:00.002+08:00

Not too long ago,I was having a talk with one of my oldest,best friends in the entire world and she was telling me about how much she had been hurt by people she loved in that past year.One of her best friends kind of ditched her just for a guy,she was having family troubles as well and she had to give up the guy of her dreams even though they were both interested in each other, due to family objection.I felt really sorry for her,because she had to deal with all the pressure alone,in addition to her heavy schoolwork load.By the end of it,she told me that she has already made up her mind to be more emotionally-independent,since she has found out that nobody is really reliable anymore.Everybody is capable of hurting her and she won't risk letting herself go through so much hell once more.

Fast-forward a few months and I now share her jaded view.I very stupidly let a new friend too much into my life.At first all was great...I thought I had a new friend who could understand me so I opened my heart.We would talk a lot and I had no trouble spilling out my thoughts and feelings and woes.But gradually,I found this friend to be more and more distant and I started regretting exposing so much.I started feeling strangely insecure,because of how much I had revealed about myself.And at the same time,it hurts as well because I thought this friend could be trusted,that I can at least know there's someone I know I can rely on.

And don't even get me started on my family.

The point is,I now can see what my friend meant.It really is better to learn to be more emotionally independent.I'm not saying keeping all your problems inside,but learn to guard yourself against any potential heartbreaks,be it relationship or friendship or family-wise.And one thing I have learnt from all this?Never reveal too much of yourself to anybody,for you never know when they are just going to throw everything back to you suddenly and leave.

Note: This isn't the angsty post I was referring to in my previous post.I wasn't emotionally charged enough when I got home that night so I just watched some Friends and went to bed.

2010-07-29T12:55:00.006+08:00

I don't know why I'm becoming more and more seclusive and less tolerant of people nowadays.When aunties with big shopping bags bump into me on the streets without even looking at me or apologizing,I will give a loud,annoyed "tsk!"Most of the time they don't hear it,whether it's because they have selective hearing or are just plain deaf,I have no idea.When one particular colleague kept giving me a shitload of last minute work to do despite the time being close to 5.30pm,I curse her mentally.And I also get super annoyed when people who don't know me well enough judge me.

Take for example the new receptionist girl.She's about 2 years older than me and is the only one around I will go lunch with,since there is a generation gap between us and the rest of the colleagues so lunch wouldn't be too awkward or anything.Anyway,recently,I just felt like having lunch at my seat,reading MLIA posts.Not that there's anything wrong with the girl - she is quite nice,just....boring.You know,like plain porridge.Nice,but bland.And anyway,I'm not in the mood for socializing with anybody.So today,I was eating my pie which I brought from home and she came over and saw what I was eating.The first thing out of her mouth was,"What?!Like that only ah?"

For some reason,maybe it's her judging tone,that irked me.I don't know if it's my imagination or not,but her tone seems to suggest,"Eat so little...must be scared of getting fat." Well,that's a bit rich,coming from her.Guess who it is who,more often that not,leaves half of her portion of food untouched when we eat at the hawker centre.And we are not talking about meals of American-sized portions.Guess who it is who sometimes just have one banana for lunch or nothing at all?You are a fine one to talk,lady.

When I just smiled tightly and said yeah,I'm not very hungry,she raised her eyebrows and was like,"Are you sure?" More of that judging tone.

I want to slap her.

Maybe it's because she's a Christian.I find that I have even less tolerance for Christians.And even if we eat in together,she will just read her stupid Christian self-help book or whatever,poring over it like it's some godly book (maybe to her,it is) and I will be left feeling bored.I can't be bothered to make conversation with a bowl of plain porridge so most of the time,lunch was quiet.Now you see why I prefer eating at my seat?Anyway,I digress.

I HATE it when people assume that I don't eat just because they don't see me eating a lot.For the record,I am NOT one of those silly girls who won't eat for fear of getting faaaaaat alright?So if I say I'm not hungry,shut up and leave me alone.Don't go all judging on me cos I tend to read too much into stuff.So if you don't want me to misinterpret your "good intentions",just nod and say ok.Is that too much to ask?

This new girl is actually better as compared to the previous one.My god,talk about annoying.She's so actsy-cutesy,it's really nauseating.Take the way she talks for example.She has this incredibly high,whiney voice which makes my hair stand.And god help us if a moth dares to even flutter near her.And sometimes she bounces instead of walking like a normal person,complete with a small "sound effect" when she bounced her last step.Don't ask.

Jeez.God forbid that she should act her age(I think she's 22).

So anyway,as if the above all aren't irritating enough,she still thinks she's mature enough to give me "advice".See,at that time,there were 2 other temp staff as well,a girl the same age as me and a guy a year older.They are really nice people and I had fun hanging out with them.But unfortunately,they were leaving in July for uni and irritating girl wanted to leave too to "find a better job".Let me stop here for a moment and explain that she's from SIM.And she lives in Opera Estate,hence the whole "princessy" attitude.So anyway,one day we were talking about who I should lunch with when the 3 of them left.And irritating girl turned to me and was all,in a pious kind of voice,"You know,you really should hang out more with the other senior staff in the office."

Like you do.Since the first day you came,you have just been hanging around us so what gives you the right?Come preach to me only when you have actually eaten lunch with them.

I just gave her a very very sour look behind her back as she continued,"You can talk to them about anything what!The news,for example.It doesn't have to be gossip,you know!"

Well,now would be a good time for my invisible friend to trip her up.

I almost wanted to laugh in her face at her ignorance.Is she really that dumb or is she trying to act dumb?You think all adults ever talk about during lunch is the news?No,sweetie,they gossip.I know because I've heard them before.And do you think they would let some little temp in on the juicy gossip of the office?I'd probably only irritate them,especially if they are dying to relate some juicy info but can't because of my presence.So don't you dare make me out to be some kind of bimbo who only knows how to gossip.At least I act more like my age,which is something I can't say for you.And who died and gave you the right to judge me?

Oh,one more annoying factor about her.Before she left,she did find a job which paid her close to $2,500 or something per month.But that's not good enough for Little Miss Princess,oh god no.She was all,"But $2.5k per month is so little!Uni grads should get more!"And she's not going to take it!

I want to shake her.$2.5K for uni grads in these times is actually better than expected.So many uni grads from NTU and NUS are looking for any jobs to take and here you are,a mere SIM grad,whinning about how little $2.5K is to you?I'm not mean-spirited,but I really hope that she won't get such a high-paying job the next round.

Anyway,I digressed.I also hate it when people can't be bothered to read more deeply into things.Many things are not what they seemed,ok?So don't go judge me as well if you are unable to understand the much more significant and serious reason.Don't claim to know everything when you have only skimmed through the surface of things.Like I said,many things are not what they seemed.And has it ever occured to you that it takes two to clap?

And stop freaking asking me to "forget about it".Why should I forget about it?A great injustice has been done to me,and I'm supposed to what,act stupid and pretend nothing happened?I would be letting myself down terribly if I do that,because who would stand up for me,if I can't even be more self-assertive and fight for myself?And "forgeting it" doesn't make the problem go away.The root of the problem is still there,just lying dormant until the next spark comes along and blows it all up.Telling me to "forget about it" is just like taking western medicine - it only cures the temporary symptoms on the surface,but not the root of the problem.

Yup,angsty post coming up later,when I get home.

2010-07-24T15:11:00.005+08:00

I LOVE "For your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert!!I remember spamming it on iTunes lol.Anyway,for those who have never heard of that song,watch the first video first before you get the wrong idea about this song,as I will show you later on:

Is this song great or what!=D How can anybody not love it!!!

For those of you who did not enjoy it,this shall be your punishment.
Ladies and gentlemen,I present to you...the Singapore Idol Top 3 finalists:
(You can fastforward to 1min 25 seconds.All those in front are crap)

We will now observe a minute of silence for "For your Entertainment".May it rest in peace.

Seriously,WTF are the producers,or whoever it was who chose that song,thinking!Has he not heard the original version before??Did he not hear the Singapore Idol finalists practising?Did he seriously think those 3 amateurs can pull of a Lambert song??It's such a freaking difficult song!Come on,how many guys out there have Adam Lambert's high powerful vocals??

I'd say only Tabitha and Sylvia can reach that pitch but Sezairi??Tsk.Please.If you listen closely to the chorus (at about 2min 20 seconds),you can hear a male voice falling flat at the "OH".When I heard it,I was stunned into silence but once I got over the initial shock,I died laughing.HAHAHAHAHAH serious,Sezairi BUTCHERED the song.The 2 girls managed to hit that pitch somewhat but Sezairi was like scrambling frantically at the bottom but nonetheless still failing miserably.In fact,for the whole song,he was singing at a lower key but still kept running off.L-O-S-E-R.

Guess who once boasted about wanting to crack the US market?

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!*wipes a tear away from eye*

And for those girls who screamed when Sezairi came onstage,can't they hear that he was constantly flat?I'm guessing they have never heard of "For your Entertainment" before.Either that or they just can't tell what is good singing even when it comes up to them and slaps them in the face.

And then there was that part where he got sent to LA to interview the Twilight cast and he ended up serenading Kristen Steward with a...is that a ukulele?LOL anway,enjoy.Or maybe not.For me,I grimaced.Does he have to be such a show-off?And what's he trying to do,impress Kristen Stewart so that the next time she meets some big-shot music producer at a party,she will mention him?Chances are,she will probably forget about him the minute he walks out of the room.Anyway I digressed:

I found out about this from 8Days.Hoo boy,you wouldn't believe the things that he said!That smug arrogant jackass.OMG I want to slap him hard.He was boasting about how Nikki Reed (Rosalie) and Elizabeth Hale (Esme) wanted him to sing to them."Now I owe Nikki and Elizabeth my new album,"he said.

Yeah sure,send them.I imagine them looking at the albums in puzzlement,then at each other."Sezairi?Who he is?" "Let's throw it away.He looks like some creepy stalker."The Channel 5 producer with Sezairi was also raving about Sezairi's "impromptu" performance (I don't believe it.I think he has practised and thought of that long before.I mean,this guy can't even speak well when interviewed,let alone make up a song on the spot)."It was well-received.There were other international journalists around and they were clapping in the other room.It caused a minor hooha."

Yeah yeah yeah.Whatever *waves a dismissive hand*.If they are trying to gain some local support and admiration,this is so not the way to do it.And what are they playing at,getting Sezairi to interview the Eclipse cast?I really hope he hasn't been embarrassing us.What does he want,people to start googling Singapore Idol and searching for "Sezairi" on Youtube?Say,that may not be such a bad idea.Then his "For your Entertainment" number and "I want to crack the US market!" article will come rushing back to bite him in the ass.

2010-07-22T00:40:00.001+08:00

Today was a great day cos I met up with some of my really good friends.Firstly,met up with Ham and Yuen at Ang Mo Kio Hub for dinner.Yuen was being real auntie as usual hahhaa.Then afterwards went to meet Pauline and Jasper and got the coolest ride I could ever wish for in my entire life((((: A ride in a BMW convertible!Jasper is totally awesome.And it's so fun to whiz by the roads and feel the wind blowing against you.Quite cold actually but I'm not complaining,not when I'm being seen in such a freaking cool car:D Hmm met a couple of Jasper's friends,Sebastian and Nicholas, at The Roti Prata House at Upper Thompson.All really nice and funny people so had lots of fun there too.

I miss Pauline and Jasper so much,the days when we used to do project work together and had great fun in the process.Not only them,the entire project group as well.Year 1 was the only year in which I actually had fun while studying,the only year in which I don't sigh just at the thought of school.On the contrary,I look forward to it.SIGH.

Anyway.UPDATES on the previous post:

LOL just when I thought the old men living in my neighbourhood couldn't get ANY more desperate and sick,along came two incidents which made me feel even more disgusted with them.

I was working in the clinic on Saturday morning when not one,but two old men came within that 3hours we were open and requested to buy Levitra.For those who don't know,Levitra is a type of medicine that works like Viagra.Go Google search if you are interested.I would be highly amused if I weren't so disgusted,since these old men are not in the least bit attractive.Nuh-uh.Far from it.Well,ok the first one wasn't so bad I guess...tall and skinny,but still wrinkled and....yeah.LOL the second one was the pits.Short,fat,dark-skinned (not Louis Koo-tan,more like construction worker-tan),pot-bellied,piggy-eyed,dirty fingernails,yellow teeth and smells bad.He really brings to life every single stereotype of a dirty,sleazy old man.I really couldn't believe it when he came and bought 4 boxes of Levitra,which could...I don't know,last him for one whole month straight?OMFG.The poor girls who have to er....give him service.I highly doubt he has a wife.

This reminds me of several incidences,when I have seen fat,unattractive,uncouth men who looked to be around forty-plus,coming in with sweet little twenty-plus,scared-looking Vietnamese girls and registering them as their "wife".It made me feel so sad for them.To have to be forced to marry these repulsive men and bear them children and cook and take care of them for life....it really made me feel so fortunate and blessed that I won't be sold off just to bring money for the family or settle family debts or something.And when I see them coming along with a little baby,I feel even sadder.They are at most a few years older than me.Instead of being allowed to enjoy their youth,they are stuck in a life,taking care of a husband who looks like a major turn-off and possibly forced to bear him more children and taking care of them.Imagine,you can no longer fantasize about marrying the cute guy you love because they would probably have already signed a legally-binding contract which forbids them from leaving.The most extreme case I once witnessed was this 82-year-old Indian man who came and registered a 28-year-old girl who had just arrived from India,as his wife.WTF!I thought he was her grandfather!!I was so super grossed out.

Like I said,what is with old men,really?I don't know,perhaps you didn't have enough fun and satisfaction while you were young?Well,just accept the fact that you are old already and SUCK IT UP.Go learn some taiji or something.That's what healthy old men do,not ogle at young girls and traumatize them.And certainly not forcing young girls less than half your age to marry you.Destroying a young girl's happiness just to satisfy your own pleasure is simply sick.Unless the situation is a win-win for both i.e. you are looking for sexual pleasure and the girl is willing to give it to you for a cost.In other words,a hooker.Ah then that is different.But if only one party is happy in the situation,then I'm sorry,you are just a revolting,disgusting old fart.

LOL my friend once asked me this question,"If you have to choose between a cute young playboy and a rich,fifty-year-old virgin,who would you choose?"When I said I would choose the cute playboy,she was surprised."Really?You are not scared he has AIDS or that he will compare you to his previous partners?"

I shrugged."True but there must be a reason why the old man is still a virgin at age 50."

Call me superficial but I believe I have made a valid point,no?:D

2010-07-16T13:15:00.003+08:00

Why can't men realize that when you have reached a certain age,it is no longer acceptable for you to call out "美女!" to young girls?

Particularly if you are already in your 50s,or possibly 60s,wrinkled and skinny and with only a couple of teeth struggling to hold on in an otherwise toothless mouth.

I'm quite sure girls like being called 美女...by cute young buff guys.But definitely not by someone who could be our father!EEEEWWWW how gross.

Effing lao tikos.Piss off.

It gets me SO irritated.There is this old uncle selling chicken rice at the coffeeshop near my house,where I go to for lunch.He is by far the worst.Excuse me,but do I look like some cheap slut?I was dressed in office attire,for crying out loud.But he would still grin at me cheekily and try to chat me up,making me this close to giving him a tight slap,if I weren't so afraid of creating a scene.Even when I ignored him and rolled my eyes deliberately,HE STILL CAN'T TAKE THE BLOODY HINT.WTF.Go Geylang la,there will be girls falling all over you once you flash out some cash.And while you are at it,kindly take a few lessons on facial expressions.When someone glares at you and refuses to answer to your lousy pick-up lines or even LOOK at your ugly face,it simply means F**K OFF.I don't care if you once looked like Takeshi Kaneshiro when you were young.Right now,you are just an irritating,creepy,skinny old uncle.What makes you think I will even respond to YOU?Let me count the number of ways I will never,ever in a million years be remotely attracted to you,not even when hell freezes over:

1) You are at least two and a half times my age

2) It is highly unlikely that you were ever educated,based on the super limited number of words I have heard you use

3) In which case,it probably means your main spoken language is Hokkien (I know I'm stereotyping here but what the hell) and I'm not sorry,but I am clueless when it comes to dialects

4) What,think it's so easy to win girls over?The only thing you have is your CPF and SO WHAT if you have gotten it?I have CPF too,possibly more than you will ever have when I am your age

5) You are F-U-G-L-Y.GOD,when was the last time you looked at a mirror?

6) I am not even 20 years old and can go higher in life.You are nearing the end of your life and selling chicken rice.And not like you cook them.You just stand there and "promote" it.Hmmm....something doesn't quite add up,does it?

7) Your "pick-up" lines fall so flat and pathetically,I weep for them.And mentally hold a burial for them.

8) You don't understand that rolling eyes,tight mouth and a super irritated expression is the universal language for PISS OFF.I wish I could master Lily Aldrin's "You are dead to me" look.He would burst into a gazillion piecies hahahaha.

9) I view you with utmost contempt because of how you are behaving.And once I lost respect for anybody,they automatically become people I hate.

10) You give me a serious case of the heebie-jeebies

11) I am not a cheap,money-grubbing whore from Geylang.Enough said.

Why can't the top management there employ some cute young guys?There is already a China slut selling beer there,sashaying about in her mini skirt for all chee ko peks to ogle gleefully at.Somehow,I don't think it's a coincidence that there is an influx of old men there when her shift starts.WTF makes our neighbourhood so sleazy.Why not employ some buff eye-candies?We girls like cheap thrills too.

If I were truly cold and merciless,I would spread the word about the chicken rice stall around the neighbourhood.Oh,the power of word-of-mouth.Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,I say.

2010-07-04T18:29:00.007+08:00

WOW it's been a long time since I last blogged.Life's been pretty hectic and all...I barely have enough time for my friends now unfortunately.In my defense,everybody was busy as well and organizing gatherings just got all the more tedious.

I remember I have LOTS of things I wanna blog about but what exactly are they,I can't remember.Thank you,procastination.Anyway,off the top of my head:

1)World Cup
I'm still quite amazed that Spain actually managed to get into semifinals for the World Cup.If I'm not wrong,I think it's the furthest they have ever gone in history.Yesterday's game was quite drama mamma.And to think I used to find football one of the most boring sports ever(next to golf)!I don't know why I started watching World Cup 2002 but that's how it started=)

Anyway,I can never fathom why some people will cry when the team they are supporting fail to go on to the next round.Please note that I'm talking about Singaporeans here,not their own countrymen.It's like OMFG O.O.I logged on to Facebook just the day after Brazil lost to Netherlands and one post by a Person I Think I Know had me sniggering (Note:her status just happened to be on my Facebook front page.Please don't think that I intentionally went and searched her profile.I would be highly insulted that you think I am this free).

(Digress: I classify everybody into 3 general groups.If I talk to you often and will make the effort to arrange meetups with you,then you fall into the Good/Best Friends category.Most,however,fall into the Normal Friends category.And the remaining are the People I Think I Know.It doesn't matter if we have been in the same class for a year or two - you are still as significant to me as the people I passed by on the streets i.e. those that I will at most give one glance and then not recognize you anymore.And I have no idea what you are doing on my Facebook list.)

Anyway,here is the gist of said Person I Think I Know's Facebook status:

Person I Think I Know: I should probably stop watching Fifa now (I purposely chose green for her cos I hate green and I think it's an ugly colour:))
(then of course,there were messages by her cronies,asking her what happened??)
Person I Think I Know: U knw why right. I cried for a good 10-15mins i think :(
(followed by a series of comforting messages and Person I Think I Know's constant wails about how Brazil is out too soon and how she can't face reality anymore yadda yadda.One,two three...ROLL YOUR EYES)
XXX: LOL.dun worry.spain will destroy them
PITIK: destroy who?
XXX:uruguay la.revenge is sweet;)
PITIK:hahaha...we'll see abt it.I abit cnt be bothered with fifa already.ahahahha.

*

I swear,when I read the end of it,I actually blinked.I scrolled back up and tried to find if I've missed anything out.Because I'm pretty sure Uruguay didn't even touch Brazil.And I'm also pretty darn sure that Spain will not meet Uruguay unless they meet in the Finals and even that is pretty unlikely.

But there's nothing out of the ordinary prior to that.Which got me wondering...did PITIK even watch the match?It's pretty doubtful that she even watched football in the first place because:

a) Er....it was Netherlands that kicked Brazil out,not Uruguay.The fact that she didn't even correct XXX just showed how extensive her knowledge about the match is.And if she is really that staunch a supporter of Brazil ("I cried for a good 10-15 mins!"),she would know every country that Brazil played and possibly even the scores.

So much for a self-proclaimed Brazil supporter HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

b) It's called World Cup,honey.Not Fifa.FIFA,short for the Federation Internationale de Football Association,is the international governing body of association football (http://www.wikipedia.org/). It's not the event. And of course nobody watches FIFA,unless you are Interpol or some other international police organization waiting to dig out ugly information on them (Note: Ok I don't know if Interpol will interfere with FIFA but I just can't think of any other intergovernmental bodies that will keep an eye on them.Do tell me if you know,yeah?:))

*in disparaging tones* "watch fifa" *snigger*

LOL I LOVE it when people I hate make a fool of themselves on Facebook,by posting wrong information and pretending to know a lot about a certain subject.
A while ago,PITIK had as her msn nick,something along the line about how she's afraid of travelling by aeroplanes and appealing to people for help on how to get over her fear of flying.LOL sweetie,you are so unbelievably bitchy and annoying,Heaven and Hell probably won't want you anyway.In fact,Saturn is probably tearing up the contract he signed with you at birth.

Anyway!On to another annoying person.

2) I hate Sezairi Swaz-whatsisnameagain.There's something about him that totally irks me.He just looks like a scrawny idiot with an inflated ego.For what,I have no idea.It's not like he can really sing,plus he always has this smug smile.Like you can totally tell he thinks he's so goddamn good just cos he won Singapore Idol (what?When was that?).He radiates those "Look at me!I have girls falling all over my feet!I'm Singapore Idol!I bet everybody wants to be me!" kind of smugness.Jackass.He's nowhere near Taufik or Hady talent or looks-wise but he is thrice as snobbish as any of them,that puffed-up conceited moron.And some time back,I found a piece of news on YahooNews that made me despise him even more.

http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/06/03/sezairi-i-want-to-crack-the-u-s-market/

LOL siao ding dong.Crack US market?HAHAHHAHAHHAA crazy idiot.I don't know whether to laugh at him or pity him.He obviously thought extremely highly for himself.He's just like that silly little frog who thinks he's bigger than the bull and kept puffing himself up to reach the size of the bull,only to burst and die.Because I'm quite sure that's what's gonna happen to Sezairi - he will be massacred if he dares to try and enter the US market.LOL can you even imagine the reaction?I bet all the record producers there will piss themselves laughing.This type of rubbish still want to brag about cracking US market.You think US market very easy to crack ah?Wait till you have half the talent of Adam Lambert then you even THINK of cracking the US market.Unless you are like filthy rich,then you can maybe try and buy yourself over some producers. And look at that video interview of him!OMG I have no idea where he got so much ego.I quote him:

"The Malay population makes up 13.9% in Singapore.And if you look at the votes that were released,it was 61 to 39.So,you know,it's hard to believe that only a small population of people are voting like mad,you know what I mean?There are a lot of viewers on the show you know..."

Dingbat.What's so hard to believe about it?61 to 39 of the votes garnered la.Bearing in mind,they didn't specify how many votes there are.If assuming the entire Malay population voted for you,then you only have 61% X 13.9 = 8.5% (see,I'm so nice I round up for you) of Singaporeans' votes.Not that you got 61% of Singaporeans' votes,my dear.Honestly,were you absent on the day your teacher taught you simple multiplication?A lot of viewers on the show?Not quite so,I'm afraid.So far,I have yet to hear any of my friends confess that they watched Singapore Idol season 3.Maybe they are too embarrassed to admit it.Either way,that says a lot about Singapore Idol,doesn't it?

Most of the comments that accompanied the posts were of ridicule and mockery.I'm glad to see that Singaporeans felt the same way as I do.I quote a sentence from the article again:

While he understands that he first has to win over fans here and within the region first, he's convinced he has the chops to crack the notoriously competitive U.S. scene

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH lamebrain.He's convinced he can break the US market??What,you convinced can already ah?Ok,I'm convinced I can meet George Clooney one day,how about that?LOL only 8.5% of Singaporeans' votes,and that's being kind to you already.It's not even 10% and you are convinced you can win over Singapore?

And I'm highly displeased with some of the reporter's sentences in that article as well

Indeed,it seems that while we certainly have talent in Singapore,many of our local musicians seems to lack confidence to make a bold move and pursue their dream in music.

Yes,we have talent in Singapore,but not good enough to make it international.How many international singers do we have?Stef Sun and JJ Lin are only famous in Asia and they are considered our biggest pride in the music industry.It's not because they lack the confidence - it's because they are aware of their own standards among true international stars.It's called being self-aware and knowing your own limits,not lacking confidence.Sheeeesh.

Take for example,Ludwig Van Beethoven,whose hearing deteriorated until the point that he became deaf,but that didn't stop him from being one of the most famous and influential composers of all time.
Or how about Stevie Wonder,born blind,who overcame all obstacles to receive 22 Grammy Awards during his illustrious music career.

WTF I have never heard so much rubbish.Excuse me,but why are you comparing Sezairi whasisname to the likes of Beethoven or Stevie Wonder?These people are true music prodigies and Sezairi doesn't even have 1% of their talents.It's a mortal outrage,the biggest insult to these music geniuses.I won't be surprised if they are rolling about in their graves right now.These people are born with handicap but they managed to become famous because they are true geniuses.Not because they don't dare to venture out.WTF I'm still pissed over such irresponsible reporting.And it's not related to this article anyway.Firstly,Sezairi is NOT born handicapped (except maybe when he's rendered speechless by his own awesomeness) and he DOES NOT,repeat,DOES NOT have that much talent.Goddammit,what's so difficult to understand about that??That's like...like... comparing the Singapore football team to Germany's.I forgot who was it who claimed that Singapore would qualify for World Cup in 2010 but I'm pretty sure all 5million Singaporeans promptly fell over laughing.Even the Singapore team itself.

How about this - the day Sezairi cracks the US market,Singapore would win the World Cup,we would win 50 gold medals for Olympics and teleporters will no longer be a dream.I can go on and on but you get my drift.

Sorry for the lengthy post!=) That should make up for the past month of absence.

2010-05-30T16:30:00.003+08:00

A good friend showed me this truly inspirational video yesterday night:
http://

I don't know about the rest of you but I could think of a few people around me who should really see this video. All I ever heard from them are complaints and moans about parents and relationships and looks. I mean,seriously. Get some perspective here. You may not have a boyfriend now, your parents may drive you nuts and you may not look like Jennifer Aniston. But who are you to complain when you have the one most important thing - health?Or the fact that you can walk and run about and play and go out with your friends without attracting curious glances or questions from passerbys?

Nick Vujicic has to get used to the fact ever since young that he will never be able to play soccer like the rest of the boys,probably never get a chance to fall in love and I bet he must have endured a whole lot of torture from less sensitive people as well.The fact that he embraces his birth defects instead of shunning away from the public (he plays golf and goes fishing!) is unbelievable and makes me all the more contemptous of those people who post emo shit on their blogs and Facebook and act as though their world is falling apart just because they don't have the perfect partner by their side. Excuse me but who are you to judge that your life is a horrible mess?

I am not saying that people who are having problems should keep it to themselves.I totally don't agree with that. I believe in sharing problems with friends. But after receiving help from your friends,then for the love of god,you change!You don't keep going around and around in circles and come back moaning about the same problem again and again every other few days.It just makes us feel as though all our efforts have been wasted if you don't even want to help yourself.Hell,if you don't want to,then we can't help you any more either.And it's seriously getting irritating.

Take it from me,when life gets you down,it's no use moaning about it.It just makes you seem all the more pathetic.That's why I have always believed that kids who are born less privileged are stronger as compared to normal children.If you are crying because the guy/girl you like isn't always there for you,think of how it feels to have to keep going for operations and doctor appointments every day after school.Think of those bedridden who needs help just to eat and pee.Because that's what most people always forget.They are too wrapped up in their own matters of the heart,which is really nothing as compared to the real suffering going on around them.

I have friends who told me they wish they were more like me because I always seem so happy.It's strange,but I've found that often,the happiest people are the ones with the most problems.That's why family members and friends are always puzzled when someone takes their own life."But he/she always seem so happy!" And that's why I don't buy it if someone goes around broadcasting that he/she is unhappy on Facebook and posts emo rubbish on their blogs.Because to me,that is not a cry for help - it's simply a cry for attention.And the fact that you refuse to help youself and stand up again despite countless advice from friends further proves to me that you just want people to take notice of you and shower you with care to make you feel good.Maslow's hierarchy of needs - third stage,acceptance and belonging.People climb higher up the pyramid,not stay there like you do.And your constant self-deprecating remarks are really starting to get on many people's nerves.It just makes me despise you even more,especially when there are people like Nick Vujicic around.So do yourself a favour and get over yourself already.Oh,and while you are at it,I really hope you will stop treating people like crap after you don't need their help.And also,do stop taking advantage of people just because they don't stand up against you.You should know that by treating people like that,you are very simply,showing them severe disrespect and in return,you don't deserve a single ounce of respect from us too.I know I don't have any left for you. 冰冻三尺，非一日之寒. It's not because of one silly thing you did.It's an accumulation of personal experiences and observations on how you treat people,including me,like crap that made me lose all respect for you.And you should know that I don't talk to people who don't deserve my respect.

A good friend once told me,"Don't let what you can't do affect what you can do."And I realize he's right.The fact that I can't do certain things now doesn't mean I can't do other things and excel in it.And I realize again how easy it is to forget what you have or can do,when you see others having things that you want to have but can't.

"And you keep on concentrating on the things that you wished you have,or the things that you wished you didn't have,that you sorta forget what you do have." - Nick Vujicic

And for that,I salute him.

2010-05-14T16:26:00.004+08:00

I have been watching Flashforward ever since it started and now it just got even more interesting.For those who have never watched the show,I recommend it.It's a science fiction story I guess,and focuses on the main question of whether we as humans are able to change our future or is everything pre-destined?

Which got me thinking.Are we ever able to change our future?Some argue that everything we do,think etc has already all been written down before we are even born.Even the time,place,family that we are born into has already been decided by the supreme beings.However,others believe that we all have a chance at creating and deciding our own future,every time we come to that metaphorical cross-road in life.Whatever route we ultimately take,it's an indication that we have made a choice and shaped our own future.These people are the optimists.

That is true,in a sense.But on the other hand,I could also say that our decision to take that route has already been decided,that someone up there has already "made" us choose that decision,and the fact that we ever had a choice is quite simply an illusion.

I have blogged quite some time back about seeing this friend,who read my palm and gave some news which I thought at that time to be unpleasant.I quote myself:
Then there were some that were quite unpleasant.To me currently,that is.But probably when I reached that age,my thinking will change.After all,he did say I don't have any unhappy lines,which means I may actually be glad by that time that I did not get what I think I want now.
And that's precisely what happened.After hearing that,I started taking a more open view,saw more clearly the downside of it and now,I'm actually feeling quite optimistic about the so-called prediction.I'm even thinking,"hell yeah,why would I want that?"Admittedly,this optimism came much earlier than I expected.I thought I would need a few years to get over it.

Later on,I started wondering.What would have happened,had I not let that friend read my palm and told me that news?Would I still be blind and hoping for that one thing?Would my future be any different,for the better or worse?Would I ultimately persevere and fight for my own destiny and get what I wanted,or would I have ended up worse?

Which then led me to think that I am somehow living my future according to what I know.The friend also told me about the time he read his friend's palm.He told her that she doesn't have a strong love life line,even though she craved for a family,but she had a very strong career future.So the friend decided to give up on love life,concentrated on her career and in the end made it as some big-shot boss.I don't know,I don't really buy it when he used that as an example to prove his accuracy in palm-reading.I see it more as him influencing her decision,handing her the map with the route she should take marked out nicely when she came to the cross-road in life.

Because most humans are a cowardly bunch - if they have the slightest suspicion or worry that any route they are taking or deciding to take is shrouded in uncertainty,they would retreat and take the other route,just because somebody said that route is brighter and easier for them.Let's face it - nobody wants to screw up their lives.Even if the route that is uncertain and hazy has a huger pile of gold waiting at the end than the other brighter route,most people would not take the risk.For all they know,there could be nothing waiting for them at the end of that path.It's a 50-50 shot,really.

And then I started thinking again - what if I say that making decisions doesn't matter at all?Is it also possible that no matter what decision we make,our outcome is still the same?Even if we took all sorts of precaution to prevent that thing from happening,it would still happen no matter what.Taking an example for the show Flashforward - in that show,everybody saw their future for 2 minutes.An FBI agent saw himself receiving news that the girl that he had knocked over a few days back had passed away,and in an effort to prevent that from happening,he committed suicide,hoping to protect the girl.But later on,the girl still died,killed by another car.It's like saying the future has already been decided for all of us.If it's your time to go,you would have to go,regardless of how or where you escaped to.If it's meant to be,it would happen,no matter what.
In other words,yes,I guess our future is shaped by our actions and decisions.But ultimately,would any of it have made a difference?Would the same thing have happened,had we taken another route?Who knows,it may take us back to the same ending.And maybe that's the whole story - no matter what routes we end up taking,no matter how many routes we take,we would have to go back to that one destiny that's waiting for us.

I enjoy thinking about controversial topics like these.Keeps me busy during long MRT or bus rides.

*welcome to my life*